sad

the woman who hit my mom was arrested last night. as of today she is already set loose. mom spends the holiday in the hospital. driver gets to celebrate with friends? does that seem right?

Woman accused in hit-and-run
A male passenger stopped and spoke with the victim, but the female driver left the scene without providing any information.
By: Mark Stodghill, Duluth News Tribune

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Duluth police made an arrest today in connection with a hit-and-run accident Tuesday in which a 66-year-old woman was struck by a black pickup truck.

A 32-year-old Duluth woman is being held in the St. Louis County Jail on preliminary charges of felony criminal vehicular operation, hit and run and driving after revocation.

The accident happened at the intersection of Second Street and Fifth Avenue East near Miller-Dwan Hospital just before 2 p.m. The victim was crossing Second Street when she was struck by the pickup. A male passenger in the pickup stopped at the scene and spoke with the victim, but the female driver of the pickup left the scene without providing any information.

The victim was transported in a wheelchair to St. Mary’s Medical Center with injuries that were not life-threatening and is in fair condition.

Duluth police located the suspect vehicle Tuesday night leading to the arrest.

excuse me for a moment

dear truck driver
it was so kind of you to not want to leave my mother lying on the cold ground after you RAN HER DOWN. But any idiot knows you dont move an injured victim. You dont have to be a doctor to know that you should have left her where she was until help came. you are DAMN lucky that she is not paralyzed. She has a fracture in her back. you ran down a woman crossing the street, broke her back, and then moved her. why didnt you just kick her? I hope that you wake every morning knowing what you did. and I hope you wake every morning and catch the bus because you definitely should not be driving.
signed,
one angry daughter

proofread much?

I am looking for a new double stroller and I want a side by side. While reading reviews I came across this one. It made me laugh. We always joke about how people massacre the English language.

We got this stroller for our then newborn and two and a half year old. They are now 18 months, and four years old respectably and the stroller is still going strong. It fits perfectly in the back of our minivan and pushing it is a breeze. It doesn't come with cup holders but for just a few dollars you can pick some up at babiesrus. It is brilliantly designed and is very durable. I would defiantly buy it all over again.

ben says

I like you. if he has a toy he likes he says to the toy I LIKE you! and if we are looking at pictures on computer he points and says I LIKE YOU! I LIKE YOU! very cute. I like you too ben. right now he wnts my cell phone and I said nooooo and he said but I LIKE you! meaning he likes the phone.

He cant seem to remember the puppy's name so he calls her that one or this one. Mocha is whining her head off. and if she is in trouble she runs to Ben and hides in his lap. too funny.

Yesterday was not a great day. Saw my ex husband and got my insults, sophie barfed in the car on the way home from that interaction, and then I found out about Mom.
Today should be better, I hope. Puppy slept MOST of the night except when Maia came upstairs to tell me she didnt want to sleep alone. I told her she could turn on all the lights down there if she would just go to sleep! she napped in the car yest so she didnt want to sleep last night.

The guy who is supposed to work on our basement is coming today. so much for mandated naptime. cant expect them to nap when someone is banging around in the baseemnt.

Well I guess Ethan was wet last night. he wont tell me the truth about it. I have to find it on my own. he says yep I am dry! and then I find a soaking wet bed. I do not scold him for wetting. never have. but lying to me is not ok. I will scold him for that. for the life of my I cant figure out how someone who is up all night anyways can have a wet bed in the morning. if you are awake awake awake why cant you get up and go to the bathroom? GRR. that does not make me happy. He is the only one with this problem. and since he was wet yesterday the plastic sheet wasnt washed yet so his bed is now soaked. he doesnt care if he sleeps in wet bed. he doesnt care if he stinks. why do I care? sometimes I am really mad at Russia for making him who he is. he WAS a happy go lucky little boy. but over time before we could get him home he changed. he was nearly catatonic when we arrived to take him home. rocking and moaning. we didnt see any of this behavior in the first visit. he still rocks. everyone else always seems to know whats best for him but everyone else doesnt live with him. every day all day. thankfully he seems to do well in school, although even they have to remind him to sit on his bottom and eat.

Well I guess this post has become a bunch of different things rather than just Ben says. But thats ok since I am home alone with the kidlets today I can only talk to the computer because I dont really have any one else to talk to. now if it were only summer we could at least get out some!

My mom

My mom was hit by a car today crossing the street in front of the hospital after work. She is in the hospital in a lot of pain and has a broken arm and pulled muscles and lots of bruises. Could you, if you read this, just think some happy thoughts for her? Think get well thoughts. Pray if you pray. She was walking across the street. something people do every day. She even had a green light.

if it was after work it would have been about 230 and I will tell you something that happened to me at about 230. I was at a gas station and as i started to walk in front of a car at a pump in order to go in and pay that car started moving! so at about the very same time that my mom was hit, I was nearly hit. this is not the first time this kind of thing happened to us. Another time she had an accident and I decided to take a different route to my destination than usual, thinking nothing of where she might be then, and happened upon her accident. Can you imagine pulling past an accident scene and see your own mother sitting there in the middle of it? It was not a nice feeling. Another time we were thinking well its Saturday, what time is it? what should we do? should we go somewhere or stay home? it was about 1:15 I think if i remember right. A while later we got the call that Gramma Peg died. She died about the same time we were looking to the clock saying what time is it, what should we do today?

introducing: MOCHA

Roll over! Roll over!! silly baby tricks!!

while this may not seem like much its kind of a big deal for her. She hasnt been able to get all the way over before.

ethan is packing up. running away apparently. because HE can not obey ME for any thing. for the life of him he absolutely CAN NOT. so he is running away because I am the bad guy. I am the bad guy for making him and the others toe the line. For standing firm and following through and an occasional tap on the bottom. for making dinners every single night only to be told that he doesnt like that or want that. HE keeps me up all night every dang night, he and Ben, and I am the bad guy. Oh to be so narcissistic that everything is always someone elses fault. If I lose my crap its your fault. if I drop something its your fault. if I cant obey or follow instructions THATS your fault too.

more pics of cute kids

bad days good days any days

Sophie and Ben are here with us for Christmas. Really its the only present I wanted. I will take their bad days. I will take their good days. I will take their in between days too. I am so thrilled to have them here with us. I love them so much. Christmas was a hit with them as well as the sibs. Even though Glamma couldnt come for dinner the kids enjoyed presents. Oddly enough the things I picked for the girls, just KNOWING they would love them, were passed over for the boys toys after about 15 minutes with them. The same was true for the boys. Ben played Barbie car all morning. Maia played farm and parking garage. Ethan played a little of everything. Sophie played car garage and marbles. what a funny twist. I always want them to know they can do or be anything, it doesnt have to be gender traditional. Girls can be astronaughts or doctors, boys can be fashion designers and nurses. Whatever they aspire to they can be. On to the photos of today and recent days.

do you ever think

that you have given too much? that you just cant give any more? and that no one appreciates your giving anyways? whether its emotional physical or financial help, do you ever think why do I even bother?

The children are wonderful and I do not regret giving them a life and home. Its the other giving that is draining. it's the giving that has absolutely nothing to do with the kids. It seems I cant ever do it right. I try. But I just cant do it right. and I just cant do it anymore.

Nevermind this post. Just me feeling sorry for myself. The sky is probably going to drop two feet of snow for Christmas and we will have no family over, not to mention I dont like snow that much. I dont know when my boys are going to start sleeping. No end in sight. Which means no sleep for Mama. so no sleep, no nice weather to get out, no sunlight, no appreciation of your giving only negative feedback, makes me grumpy.

I went out yesterday and finished shopping

ALONE!! While I love getting a chance to drive to St Cloud alone I listen to the radio and sing along and say to myself, you are so lucky. I hear these songs on the radio and they ALL have this angst about love. love lost, love left, love not found, love not returned, and so on. And every single day I have my love. I am so thankful for my good kind loving husband. I am so thankful I dont have to wonder when I will find love, or cry over lost love, or fight with someone who isnt loving in return. I love you Eric. You are still My Love.

Maia

At Shriners the kids each got to pick a bear. Maia got a santa bear. it has a santa hat and holds a present. But the present was stitched to bears hands kind of loosely. with the kids playing and it getting moved around and maybe the dog carried it around the present came loose. She brought it to me and asked if I could sew her bear's tomato back on. I asked her three times what it was, she said it was a tomato every time.

a couple interesting turns

Ben used to act as Sophie's caretaker when it comes to food. He would give her his food and if he didnt she would demand it and THEN he would give it to her. now they are seperated when they eat, each in a high chair of their own, at opposite ends of the table. Now when Ben finishes first he goes over to her and starts snacking from HER tray. boy does she NOT LIKE THAT!

Today my Benjamin Bunny took off both his pajama TOP and BOTTOM! and found himself a shirt and with help put it on, then found himself some pants and put them on and came to me for help with button and zipper. WOW! this kid was unable to feed himself very well and certainly not take off any of his clothes OR put them on just a mere two months ago!

Last night at the community Christmas dinner for food shelf a girl said hello to Cody. A GIRL! Now in my experience (yknow, cus I was a girl once) unless a boy is one you know well or hang with or talk to much you dont say hi unless you mean it. He barely knows her name, he doesnt even know if she is in his classes. and she said hi to him. HEAVEN HELP US!

Last night at the same dinner we got split between two tables. When the kids were busy running around their spots were cleared and given to a couple of officers who stopped in for dinner. Ethan returned to his spot to find two strangers in uniform. He wasnt afraid though he said HI! who are you!? Are you the Seargants? lol where did he learn THAT word?this kid has a vocab that will knock your socks off. I am consistantly amazed at the words he uses.

Ben on the other hand was very concerned about them being there. I took a moment and introduced him so he could see that they are the good guys and "our friends" I dont know what they hear of the police in Ukraine or what they are like but he was very worried about these two and I wanted to set the record straight. I always try to introduce my kids to police at events so they will know that if they ever need them they are good people and will help them.

Kindergarten show

the best part is at the end.

yesterday was long

but you can read more about that at arthroadventure.

today the kids were so excited about school. they just love to go there. I actually went to the library after dropping them off and got a book. I think this is their last day for Christmas break. The big kids get done on Tuesday next week. Ethan and Ben were up at 4am again. ugh.

thankfully no one complained much about wearing the new splints to bed. we called them boots like the boots they wear on their feet(afos) Ben was very calm and willing and when he had his on we showed sophie and she couldnt wait to get hers on to be like ben. no complaints about it all night. I thought this was going to be like the AFOs where she would scream for about 3 days until she realized we are serious about this. but no she just went to sleep and slept all night. She is awful cute.

Ben has a bad habit of feeding the dog. he also has a new word, OK. and he says it the way a polish taxi driver who speaks no english would say NO PROBLEM! Ben dont feed the dog. OK! and then he feeds the dog.

today Ben unzipped his own pajamas AND climbed into the van himself. wow! and his stairclimbing is getting really good. I still dont want him downstairs, no real reason for him to be down there but at least I know he can get back up. He helps now with getting dressed too. he doesnt need the bathroom door open to use the toilet or wash hands. he used to panic if the door was closed. he has really come a long way.

Maia made a picture for her teacher today. it is cute. very sweet of her.

Chrysta had a big ole fit last night. She is really something. She was so wrapped up in wanting to argue I finally went to bed. Nothing I could say that wouldnt be the beginning of a new argument. She really made me mad though when I told her Santa is watching. (yes of course she knows the truth she is 13) she said she didnt care if she got only coal because her DADDY would buy her presents. umm yeah. is this the same daddy that sees you a couple times a year and is just too busy to have you over? and is this the same daddy that is supposed to pay for half of medical and activities and hasnt sent a dime in so many years I stopped bothering to bill it? is this the same daddy that some months doesnt send the entire amount of child support? Same guy who you had to call and BEG to take you to family thanksgiving so you could see your cousins and grandma and he had to rush you home again because he had plans? uh huh, let your daddy buy you presents then. I will take back all of mine. like the cell phone I pay for, the flute I bought her, the piano lessons I pay for, the roof over your head every night, the clothes I buy her, the ten pairs of shoes she has, the rides to every where she wants to go, all the other little things I do and buy for her. She has no idea. I was hoping she wouldnt inherit her father's temper. Guess she did anyways.

annoyed

the bus at school always parks across the ramp from the sidewalk to the parking lot. always. I called and asked if it was possible for the last bus to park just a few feet short of where it usually does so we can still get out. It isnt easy bahaing over the curb in the big ass double stroller. Apparently we arent supposed to be going through there. we are supposed to sit and wait until the busses leave. ok so you wont bus my kids but I cant take them home either? everyone else gets to go home but we dont? He did say he would see if there was anything he could do but this really annoys me. They are in no rush to get them special services so they can ride a special bus and they can not physically handle the regular bus so I HAVE to take them home myself. this in itself is not a problem, but the fact that I can not get them to the car is. My husband would say well why dont you just wait then. We are very different that way. I am supposed to be there and pick them up and they have them all dressed and hats on and everything ready to go out the door so I am always there and then they tell me we cant go? that just aint right.

I didnt realize the 4 year old attitude started so soon

Ethan was a terror at 4. Maia was a monster and I questioned my sanity in having kids. I knew that Sophie would find her "four" I just didnt realize it would be so soon. She is generally happy in the mornings. today she is sour. and now she is already back to bed. Her nap yesterday was interupted/canceled by Ben barging into the room waking her up. Late to bed last night. School this afternoon which means she will get no nap then. and right now she is falling all over having screaming tantrums so I put her back to bed. I dont know if she will take a nap this early or just lay there and scream at me but she has been here long enough to know that screaming tantrums are not ok and they get you a trip to your bed. so maybe she will settle in a couple minutes and fall asleep. maybe not. At any rate this is not like her. or maybe it is like her and all the days before this were not like her. I am pretty in tune with her so my take is she is overtired.

Must be monday, Chrysta forgot her lunch and came running back up the driveway to get it. Ethan wasnt far behind, he forgot his backpack. The bus is here right now so I hope they have everything they need.

birthday girl

Birthday girl.

happy birthday sophie! my sweetie is 4! she got an ecard from her gramma lucy and auntie olya. She is working very hard on crawling. she is learning so much! she has been 3 for only two months of her time with us but my goal was to get her home BEFORE she turned 4. So I am happy to have shared those two months of three year old. She is now 4. My beautiful 4 year old. who is cute as a button and still very tiny. Happy birthday baby! we love you tons. We will celebrate tomorrow because Eric is on call.

you could win a really cool doll if you go here! http://homestudytohome.blogspot.com/
you can also help a child!

Sophie funny

sophie at preschool screening.

Kathy: Where are your knees?

Sophie: I left them at home.

a good day for all

sophie and ben applied for their social security numbers this afternoon. I have to tell you that these two kids are the very BEST waiters. We waited about 45 mins to an hour and they were absolutely angels. Ben wandered a little back and forth and gave books and magazines to some people which was funny. they started giving them back to him to put away and he did. I gave him a paper and said hold on to my important paper, dont lose that! and he didnt. the entire time we were there he held on to it. It was really just a job for him to keep him busy more than it was important paper. Sophie read some books and sat in my lap a little and talked to Ben and screwed around with Maia. they were absolutely good as gold. and their ss cards should arrive in a couple weeks!

While doing the paperwork for the ss# we found two loose passport photos. JUST what I needed to send off the Ukraine paperwork. excellent.

to the mall! where they again just were really well behaved. We once waited 3 or 4 hours for something when in Kiev with them and they were good as gold that day too. They are just good waiters. they were in the double stroller at the mall. Sophie got a new winter jacket. and we had some peanut butter cups and a drink for a snack.

Then off to the orthodontist for consultation on Chrysta. she needs some work done and its not going to be cheap. Father of the year is supposed to pay half but I dont hold much hope of ever seeing that. he hasnt paid for anything in years. the kids just played toys while we talked. they were nervous about getting poked or something but when they saw it was just for mom and dad to talk they did fine. They let them pick a toy and sophie and ben each picked an american flag! ironic? yes. adorable? yes. and they didnt put them down all the way home. in fact they took them to bed with them!

on to the ride home. They were happpy most of the way. But maia chose bubbles and she really wanted to touch the flag. Sophie would scream at her thinking she was going to take it away(I presume). Then Sophie gave herself away. She let us know that she understands way more than she lets on. I told Maia to leave her alone and let her hold her flag. Maia said she only wanted to touch it and not take it away. I said Maia she just doenst understand! Sophie chirped "Nay ponemayu! Maia, nay ponemayu." translation I dont understand. so essentially she was saying Yeah maia I dont understand when she did understand all along! oh that squirt!

When we got home Ethan had presents for us. While we were gone he was home with Cody and Chrysta because we left before school got out. so while he was home he took paper and tape and wrapped up various toys and put them under the tree for us to open when we got home. He was very excited about this. it was pretty cute.

After a rushed dinner of cheesy eggs they went to bed and it wasnt 15 minutes and all of them were sound asleep.

thinking

of "our girls" and "the boys" that we left behind in Ukraine. Wishing we could send them a box of love for Christmas. I dont see how that would be possible but I think of them so often and hope they are well and happy. I dont know if they are allowed to play out in the snow but I hope they are. and if they aren't I hope they are enjoying the beauty of it outside their windows(if they have any snow yet) Do they have a Christmas tree in their room? Do they have pretty lights on them to look at? DO they know Santa Clause? or Kris Kringle, or whatever the Ukrainian equivalent to Santa is. Will they get any presnts on Christmas? even a pair of socks? it is easy to close your eyes and pretend you dont know what their life is like over there. But we spent so much time with them, playing, laughing, hugging, learning, taking pictures, roughhousing, swinging that I can't forget. They have touched my heart and I can not ignore that. Others may be able to shut that part of their life our of their minds. I can not. These are children. Mere children. They are completely dependent. They can not "get a job" they can not choose to eat more or more often. Everything is controlled for them. And yet they have so little. it breaks my heart. and from here, there is next to nothing I can do about it.

oops! there she is.

Sophie had a minor relapse into the old defiant Sophie. But thankfully she has recovered and is happily watching little Bill with her sibs.

She got herself into a bit of trouble for returning to a place I told her not to go. I figured the lesson would be a little better remembered if she had to scoot herself out of that place rather than my carrying her. (because remember she was there one already and I did carry her and yet she returned) She refused to go. wanted me to pick her up. I have no doubt I could have picked her up and as soon as I put her down she would go there again. SO I counted to 3 and she refused to move so she did get a free ride out of there and straight to the time out chair. Time out for her is time out for me too because I have to stand in front of the chair with my back to her to keep her from flopping herself out of the chair. So I turned my back and started counting the seconds and blocked the chair's exit. By the time I got to three minutes she wasnt crying any more. I told her what she did to go in time out and wanted her to say sorry. She wouldnt look at me. But she did say sorry after a time. then she wanted me to rockabye her. so I did. REminded her I love her and she is still my baby. then she let me finish my breakfast. usually she is a sunny child. but occasionally, especially when she is tired(today!) that old defiant snotty "you cant tell me" Sophie sneaks out. maybe a nap would be more in order than school.

Cold 'nuff for ya?

brrr. plenty cold for me! I am really ready to be done with winter and it only just begun! I am a southern soul trapped in a northern body! how many years till Eric retires? I like to worship the sun. I like to play in the sun. heck who am I kidding I am happy just to SEE the sun!!! where is it? havent seen it for days. cold dark dreary winter days. blah on snow. blah on cold. blah on the weight gain because its too cold to get out!!

ok debbie downer is done for now. On to other important matters of the day. All pressent say Aye! AYE! great. I am here. so everyone got up early today and thus there are some cranky children afoot. Some of the cranky children went off to school, yes school is in session here, snowbedamned. That leaves me 3 cranky kids at home. They are supposed to go to preschool this afternoon but it is COLD! and blowing! and I just dont know if its worth it. Ben cant wear boots. well at least not unless I spend 20 minutes trying to cram his crazy foot in there. and sophie obviously needs to be carried. USUALLY the sidewalks at school are clear so if i park in the no parking lane(hey! everyone else does it!) I might be able to get them in with minimal trouble, getting them out again is different. The buses park there and I would have to park in the lot and haul them across the lot by myself. Maia takes the bus home. I cant wait until they get services so THEY can deal with transportation!!I am surprised they havent cancelled preschool altogether.

the poor dog is so cold he is hiding in my sweatshirt. WHILE MY SWEATSHIRT IS ON ME!! he loves to cuddle up and be warm. he has a new place to nap. Since we got a new high chair from Maggie for Sophie, Ben has taken over the old one. He eats much easier there. Now when Sophie sat in it, the dog never tried to get into it. But now that it belongs to his buddy Ben when Ben gets down, Dog gets in. He curls up in the seat and takes a nap. Fabio is a frou frou dog. My brother in law says any animal less than 150 pounds is a waste of carbon. I disagree. He is my best little buddy.(Fabio, not my brother in law) Until the kids came home he slept with me and was by my side all day every day. we spend more time togehter than I get with my husband! men do not understand the relationship between human and dog. Women see dogs as little humans who cant talk. Men see dogs as animals who have potential. case in point, Ben and I watched a video of a man with a golden retriever who danced with him. A woman would never do that. Men are from Uranus. Women are from earth.

I am feeling somewhat bah humbug this year. I used to make fudge for the nurses. I used to bring them treats. This year I dont think I will. With the kids I dont have the time or energy. and even if I did, I would just feel taken for granted. so why expend the energy?

What is with boys and purses? Ethan used to carry around the pink fuzzy purse(with a dead mouse in it. for real) and now Ben has the red sparkly purse with rhinestones on it, carrying it all around the house. I told him its his Man Bag. but they still call it his purse. Good thing I am not a mom who gets bent out of shape about that stuff. Ethan alwyas had his nails done when he was small. everyone loves to wear the princess crown. Ethan refused to ever be the prince or king. He was the PRINCESS!
Maia, however, is not the princess. that is much too lowly a position for someone of her stature. She wants to be the queen. She also believes this will prevent her from doing chores of any kind. WRONG!

Well I guess I have recorded enough of the day for posterity. I can go do other things now. Like fold laundry. Take kids to bathrooms. Feed kids. Take kids to school. Bring kids home from school. Wash dishes. etc. yknow, the fun stuff.

go here!

and help save an adorable little boy from a fate you wouldnt want to think about.

http://thebalsisfamily.blogspot.com/2009/12/12-days-of-giving-day-seven.html

your help could save his life, it could also win you an IPOD touch or a quilt!

ben at breakfast

bye bye cheero! I lub you! buh bye seeyou layler! I lub you cheero!

whew!

it is amazing what you can accomplish with two big kids to help and two little kids missing from the scene. Ethan and Maia went with Eric to round. Leaving me Ben and Sophie. Chrysta and Cody helped me gather all the toys and banish them back to the bedroom. pick up all the playdough chunks and scraps and trash so I could vacuum. So Ben and Sophie are dressed, Living room dining room are both picked up and vacuumed and generally tidied. for the moment. of course some stuff goes on the couch and then back to the floor when its clean again...but I wont think about that. just thinking happy thoughts that the dining room and living room are vacuumed.

Tomorrow the kids go back to school for another week. Sophie can hardley contain her excitement about going back. She thinks I stay there out of sight while she is there. I dont tell her different. Maia is feeling much better about school with Ben and Sophie there with her. She gets lonely for family when she goes there all by herself. Cody let it slip that he actually sort of likes school. he was SO against going back. and here he is doing physics. chrysta likes it but she hates homework and she often has a lot of it. HOURS of it. Way more than I ever did. But then she is still learning to work hard and fast and get as much as possible done in class. it is impossible to do 50 some math problems before the bell though so she always has math to bring home. Cody is apparently not doing so well in his computer typing class. he has missing assignments because he cant type fast enough to get them done in class and you cant take them home. Eric wrote a note to the teacher asking what we can do about it. at this point he is failing, of course its only ONE week into the term but if he is failing at one week chances are he will be failing at 6 weeks. not sure what to do there. We asked the kids the other day what they might like to be and chrysta wants to be a baker(no big surprise) and cody said architect or builder. I wonder if he would like mechanical drafting. DOnt know if they offer that here. but maybe there is hope he will go to college yet. Ethan still likes school but spends so much time entertaining at lunch he barely gets his sandwhich done and doesnt get to eat dessert.

Today Ben had a crying fit because I wouldnt take his pajama top off for him. He has done it repeatedly this week and I wouldnt just stop everything and do it for him. he was pretty mad. I put him in his room and said if you are going to scream you can scream in here. he came out a short time later with his shirt off. little stinker just wants mama to do it.

Sophie hates being on her tummy. I made her today. she screamed. I lifted her up under the belly so she was in crawling position(but all the weight was on ME) and at first she cried but soon figured out locomotion. and as long as I was holding some of her weight up she could do it and move forward. and coudlnt get enough of it. but if I let go she would just scream and cry. She doesnt even really know how to roll over from her belly. hurry up ortho appointments! fix this kid so she can do all the things she wants to do! so she can roll and crawl and MOVE like other kids do.

Ethan is excited for his school program this week. Its on friday. He goes around singing silver bells all the time so I guess thats what they are singing. cant wait to see it.

friday at last

Well its finally happened. last night we went to bed with a driveway. This morning we woke with a "snow way." yuk. Ben is so excited he just keeps squealing and then the dog starts barking because squealing Ben usually means someone is coming. chaos. all day long. actually it isnt that bad. the chaos I mean, the snow is most definitely bad. I am a southern soul trapped in a northern body! The kids drew with markers while in their high chairs for awhile this morning. Then they moved on to playdough. and pretty soon it was lunch time. and then Sophie to nap. and Papa comes home for lunch. and now Ben and Maia are watching a movie. Ben wants so badly to go outside in the snow. I have no boots that would fit over his huge clunker afos, they have built up heels on them, not flat. and he cant walk without them. and he lost his mitten the other night outside and we never did find it and now its under 2 inches of snow......

I was thinking of all the words that Sophie and Ben use now(English words) they say all the family members names
gamma puppy fabio stinky nigh nigh eat
scoot play piano dvd SNOW! milk
bye bye seeyoulater(sounds like see you laylow)
outside on off car bus school lunch story
book banana no "stop it!" "come back"
yucka toys home stay snack! killy(kitty)
OW! boots OPEN! LIGHTS! Amelica! One Two
Three Eleven Six baby booboo moo neigh cluck snort

I am sure there are others I cant think of. This has come a long way. We still resort to making our own sign language sometimes when they wont/cant speak english and wont/cant speak Russian. I am sure they will have some stories to tell us when they have the words...

from my friend Christine......

I’m holding a $1 challenge over at www.findingkirilsfamily.blogspot.com, on the countdown to Christmas. Kiril is a little boy with significant special needs who has been waiting on Reece’s Rainbow for a long time, and has been bedridden in an institution for over 6 months now. My goal is to get as many people as possible to come and donate just ONE dollar to Kiril’s RR grant, and then pass this message on to just ONE other person of their choice.

Apart from people I know well, I’m contacting 50 people whose circumstances I’m not as familiar with - so if you’re in the middle of an adoption etc, I obviously don’t expect you to donate. But *please* pass along this message, whether you can give yourself or not.

beautiful benjamin button

took off his pajama top with NO HELP! He went into his room with a shirt on and came out without one and said COME ON MAMA! Pajama ALL DONE! so I jumped to get him some clothes. he tried hard to get his pants off and if he didnt have AFOS on he could have. they were pretty loose, falling off his butt lol. Mr Ben Ben is on his way to dressing himself. = )

I know I am late

but the message bears repeating.


Today, on World AIDS Day, please join AHOPE's campaign FIFTEEN - 15 days to find 15 sponsors for 15 orphans with HIV in Ethiopia

On World AIDS Day, AHOPE for Children urges support of some of the world's most vulnerable AIDS victims – the children who lost their parents because of AIDS, and then were found infected with HIV themselves. There are more than one million of these children in Ethiopia alone, and AHOPE for Children exists to care for them.

AHOPE Ethiopia recently moved to a larger residence with room to care for 15 more orphans. The space is available for 15 more children, but the funds are needed to provide them with necessities such as the medical treatment, nutritious food, education and holistic care they deserve. A sponsorship to help provide these necessities is just $35/month ($420/year; co-op sponsorships available), and we have hope that there are 15 people out there that will feel inspired to help these children.

This is why AHOPE for Children has initiated FIFTEEN, a campaign to find 15 sponsors to support 15 orphans with HIV in Ethiopia, within 15 days (Dec. 1-15). Will you please join us on this journey to give hope a home? Visit http://www.ahopefor children. org/sponsor. html to learn more.

yes I am a blogging fool

I wanted THIS blog to be about the kids, about the family, about the things we do and our life together. I Made a seperate blog about medical stuff for Sophie and Ben. its called Arthroadventure. If you want to read about their medical appointments and therapies (soon to begin) you should go to that page.

http://arthroadventure.blogspot.com/

all over the place

whenever you ask ben "can you say ______" he says "da" but not _____. which is histerically funny to me. His dad just asked him if he could say "strong like the cow" and he said "da."

Ben and Sophie (along with the other kids) each have a blanket made special for them by Mama. Maia drags a blanket around but not the one I made her. Sophie and Ben dont really care about their blankets if it isnt bedtime but if it is bedtime any blanket will do. no special attachment to mama'a blanket. but today Sophie was crying and Maia gave her the pink blankie I made her and Ben was crying so I gave him the blue and red one I made him and they hugged them and cuddled them and Ben wrapped up in his and wore it like a warm cape for the rest of the morning. he was chilly. I had a revalation though, a duhh moment. Sophie cant drag her blanket around. Not because of her hands or legs or diagnosis, but because she cant climb into the crib to get it and it never occurred to me to get it out! sometimes Mama is a bit slow about these things! When I put her to nap she wanted that blanket. just that blanket. not the other one she usually sleeps with. so now I have three blanket babies.

I made them playdough and Ben keeps saying this is the snow. squishing it is good for his hands. He is having a great time rolling it out and putting patterns in it with other toys. I have been hesitant to make any because it becomes such a mess but they are having such a good time. Maybe I will save it for naptime play. entertains maia and ben and keeps them fairly quiet.

Ben is so clumsy he falls on Sophie sometimes or steps on her. Today the poor thing he cried more than she did when he stepped on her hand. he felt so bad.

school yesterday was a success. Except I forgot to tell cody which bus to take home. I happened to run into him picking up Sophie and Ben so I took him home with me and told him which bus. He could have asked his sister though. She knows the bus number of half the kids in town so certainly she could have told him which one to take. But they both came home happy. Ethan on the other hand didnt. he got into trouble at school. only a little trouble. and really quite typical kind of trouble for kindergarten. He got a warning because he was being too loud. there are several steps beyond a warning, each successively worse than the last. He got a warning. that is the very first level. so basically a reminder. He also likes to chat alot(imagine that, Ethan talking too much)Although in speaking with his teacher she said he is doing fine. that was the first time he had gotten a warning. and academically he was doing just fine. he just needs to work on listening, being quiet and doing what he is told when he is told. ie: do your work when its work time. In typical Ethan fashion, the bus driver saw me taking Cody and asked if I wanted to take Ethan too and I said whatever Ethan wanted was fine. he said he wanted to stay on the bus so I let him ride the bus and met him when he got home with a big hug. and he was mad at me for not taking him home with me. cant win.

It is 1:30pm

and all is quiet. the kids are all at school. I could be napping. or watching tv. or something. but what am I doing? sitting her blogging. Sophie and Ben were happy to go to school and play. and Maia was thrilled to have them there and was very worried about Sophie being stepped on. I only told the teachers the words for potty and the word for return as in Mama will come back. Otherwise they are going to have to learn some English if they want to get their message across!

silence is what I hear right now. so quiet I can hear the leaky sink draining. I cant remember the last time I heard that much quiet. wow its nice. I could so get used to this! ok not forever but for a little while now and again its nice.

Piano lessons tonight for Ethan and Chrysta. Soup in the crock pot for dinner(which Ethan will complain loudly about) Dishes are mostly done. there is always laundry to do but I am choosing not to do it right now. I should be printing out my christmas letter and some other things I need to print/fill in. but I cant bring myself to do any of it. its just so nice to sit here with no one demanding anything of me.

I wonder how cody and chrysta are doing at their first day of school. They both have at least one friend in all their classes and its small town so they already know a lot of the kids. hopefully it goes ok. then when they get home the homework battle starts!

kids

how cruel

to take the joy from a disabled child. Someone stole the toy car from our yard last night. Ben plays in that car every single day. he wont slide or jump or do anything else, he just wants to drive his car. I found it in another neighborhood. I knew it was our car because it was covered in blue chalk, my boys did that yesterday. I popped it into the back of my van. I tried calling the police to report it, but they didnt return my call. Yknow, Isle police are so attentive. I dont know if they even HAVE police coverage on saturday.

We put the tree up today. my new tree. I LOVE my new tree. it is 7.5 feet tall. There was room for most of my ornaments. Our old tree was so small. But I know there are things missing. Where could they have gotten to? Myabe there is a bucket we missed in the basement. Ben and Sophie were very excited about the tree. Ben came in from outside and it was lit up and he jumped and squealed. His face lit up. He keeps looking at the tree. Sophie had fun putting up ornaments but lost interest quickly, like the three year old she is. She hasnt really had much to say about the tree. Ethan and Maia had fun putting up ornaments. Maia wants to lie under the tree. I remember doing that as a kid. I would get up in the night and lie in front of the tree looking at the lights.

Eric is actually off this weekend so he took the kids out to shoot arrows this afternoon and then took Ethan hunting. Maia has some sort of ear infection and has a very sore ear. I will post a picture of the tree as soon as I can. I will also try to get and post a video of Sophie dancing. she is so funny and a great dancer!

MOONDOG tonight!!!!

ben trying to do what Maia does

amazing Maia

yes that is her own leg coming over her shoulder. this girl is so limber!

sophie raises her arms.

she has been doing this laying down but not sitting up. today she did. again and again. she is truly amazing. she keeps saying amazing sophie.

will show you all "amazing sopha" later, she is lifting her arms up in front of her. this takes a lot of work for her and she suddenly today is doing it. She has been doing it on her back for awhile now but this is the first she has lifted them straight up in front of her. She keeps saying amazing sopha. and she reached UP into the shoe cabinet and got her shoes out because she wanted to wear them. She got one on and the other she tried but coudlnt get it right so I helped with that.

I tried to post a video the other night of AMAZING BEN! but i got distracted before it fully uploaded. He was doing somersaults in the living room. I dont know where he got that idea but he was bending over (in a pike position) and then just tucked his head and rolled. it was so much fun he did it again and again. Sophie tried her best to do it too but she wasnt quite able to by herself.

We had thanksgiving dinner yesterday as Eric is on call today. and he has to work tomorrow. I swear this is the only place that has clinic on Friday after thanksgiving. so there will be no black friday shopping for me this year. Mom has to work too on that day. I usually find the best stuff at menards(go figure) but even their ad wasnt all that awe inspiring so I am not at all put out to stay home. besides its COLD out there at 4am! I will just stay home. maybe I caan find a few deals online.

Maia is wanting to learn. she absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVES workbooks.
Ethan is enjoying having a day off from school. he played sorry with maia and has been running around. I wish he would go outside for awhile(all of them) but he absolutely doesnt want to. i thought he might sleep this morning but he slept till a whopping 645am. not much for sleeping in.

C and C are going with their dad to thanksgiving with his family. His mom is putting on a big spread because she doesnt know how many years she will have left and wants one last chance to get together. their dad didnt bother to invite C and C so they called and invited themselves. but "he has plans" this weekend so he will bring them home tomorrow.

ballerinas, kids with dad, first day of school for Ethan

blood

Last week we took the kids to the doctor for the first time they wanted blood for some necessary tests. After numerous pokes and no blood they sent us to the hospital. So yesterday I took Sophie. She screamed in my ear the entire time. and not a wail either, a high pitched shriek. She was absolutely panicked. she looked in my eyes one time and it was this wild pissed off terrified I hate you for doing this to me look. Thankfully they were able to poke around with their FINGER a lot before poking with the needle. They only stuck her once. but she wanted nothing to do with any of it. and there was no reasoning with her. she cried the entire time they were touching her. She was fine when it was done. stopped crying. went home and carried on with her day with little fanfare. but boy was I glad THAT was over.

Ben was today. not so much shrieking but lots of tears and crying. AND they just couldnt seem to get it right and poked him multiple times before taking him to a room and laying him down and getting someone else to do it. THEN they got it and plenty of it. he got a sucker from them and I promised him a cookie when we got home for being such a good boy. He didnt kick anyone with his clunkers lol and boy did he want to. so when we got home he was sucking on his sucker and then wanted cookie too. so he had cookie in one hand sucker in the other and was perfectly happy.

Now that the vampires have their blood I hope that they find nothing of significance in any of it. and I hope we wont have to do it again any time soon!

Tomorrow we are having our own thanksgiving dinner here at home just the 8 of us. I have pies in the oven right now. Eric has to be on call thursday so we will have dinner Weds and just a regular day on Thurs, except Ethan will be here so that will be a little out of the ordinary for a thursday.

Monday EVERYONE goes to school. Cody and Chrysta will go, Ethan will go, Ben and Sophie and Maia will go. what will I do with myself??? I am hoping to get some oomf and sew a big bag for Maia for her American Doll and all her accessories.

Out to Play or out to lunch

Ben and Ethan got to play out for a while today it was so nice. I took Sophie out after her nap and she played in the car and on the trampoline and absolutely LOVED the slide. She couldnt get enough sliding. but she came in willingly when it was time.

Eric is on call tomorrow and had clinic until noon this morning. After clinic he went off to visit Joshua who is in the hospital. Havent seen him since. Wonder if he is ever coming home. I adore the kids, I really do, but gees would it be too much to have another adult around now and then to talk to?

Chrysta has a friend over so she thinks all the rules are bent for her. I took away her laptop(old one, no net) because of her attitude the other night and she thinks I am going to hand it over because her friend is here. UMMM NO! she was supposed to bake pumpkin bars today and promised she would but when she FINALLY got around to it there wasnt enough eggs. and gasp! walk to the store and get some? are you NUTS???? so no pumpkin bars.

Ethan is really draining. and he is medicated. I wish it was monday so he could go to school. he had a few shining moments today but mostly he is surly and grouchy and bossy and completely incapable of having a decent conversation without blowing up. and its all on me. Eric will get home in time to eat maybe, in time to put them to bed maybe. or maybe not. I am glad he got to visit with Joshua but I am tired. I need time out too. gasp a DATE!unheard of. Ethan keeps blowing up at everything and everyone. Eric just never sees it. and Poor Ben seems to get the brunt of it. he (Ben)keeps coming to me and saying i love you mama while Ethan is blowing up. or if I talk sternly to Ethan he is there saying looblu mama. looblu! he does fine at school. no notes home. no problems that I have heard about. no teacher contacts. and yet at home he is the biggest brat. I think he has attachment disorder or something but no one else ever seems to think so. I dont know what else to think since its always on me. ONLY on me. he doesnt act this way at grandmas. or school. or with his dad. or church. only me. I go to bed every night sure that he hates me. he is only 7. How am I going to live until he is 18? he is currently in his room. again.

busy day

shots today. and all sorts of scary stuff. they did pretty well considering what they have been through. they also had blood draws that didnt work out. so after all that fuss we have to go back another day and try again. Poor babies. Sophie keeps saying wa wa. I dont know what that means but she shows me her arm where she got poked and saying wa wa. I missed lunch and snack time, but they had lunch before we left and snack along the way. so I am starving! they are just tired because they missed nap time and now tonight is Chrysta's band concert. Not sure I want to even take them. they will be tired and cranky and expected to sit and be somewhat quiet....may not be a good combo....

Eric is sleeping. he was on call last night and I guess a walk to town and the doctor visits for the kids wore him out. Good thing dinner is in the crock pot. soup today.

Chrysta is not supposed to wear jeans for this concert and is just now informing me that she has nothing to wear. she might be wearing jeans after all. she cant wear my clothes yet, she is too skinny. and there is nowhere to get anything on such short notice. I dont encourage her to borrow from friends in the clothes department but I guess I have no choice this time. hopefully big H has something she can wear.

back to the park

It was a decent enough day and I took the kids to the park for a walk in the woods. They love that and get so excited. This time I took Sophie in the ring sling. I would never do that again. ugh my shoulder still hurts! I love my mei tai sling. she does too. she wasnt real thrilled with this one. We saw TWO albino deer and about 30(altogether) brown deer. The campgrounds are closed to campers but the trails still go through them. We took some random trail and ended up in one of the campgrounds. there were deer there. we also saw 5 just driving into the park. Then we took another trail that led to anotehr campground and thats where we saw the two albinos. They love to get outside and get a little fresh air. Too bad I forgot my camera.

Maia's visit to the doctor went well. Her foot is improving. thats a good thing. No cast. but another appointment in 6 weeks just to make sure we are still moving forward.

Ben and Sophie will begin school on Nov 30 with the other kids. So that day 3 will go off on the bus and three will stay home with me until lunch. After lunch those 3 will go off to school and I will be FREEEEEE for a couple hours before I have to go back and get them. At this point I will have to pick up Sophie and Ben because they arent stable enough for the bus. Since they do not yet have an IEP or special ed qualification they can not get special transport. but thats coming in the future. Ben is very excited about going to school. He sees Maia and Ethan going off to school and gets bored without them. He wants to be a big boy and go to school too. Sophie isnt so sure. I will probably hang around awhile at school at first and see how things go.

Sophie and Ben and I were waiting for Ethan and Maia to return from school on the school bus. Sophie was adament that she would not be going on the bus. she was not going to be a big girl and not going to go on the bus. A fellow adoptive mom reminded me that "the bus" where she is from is your ticket to the institution. I bet she saw some of her friends leave on the bus and never come back! Also She spent a lot of her time with the adults, rather than with the kids playing so I can only imagine the things she overheard. She has had an education far exceeding what any 3 year old NEEDS to know! So for now Mama will drive the bus haha.

and another day is done and everyone is off to bed.

kohlers and thanksgiving

maia has an appt with the Orthopod for her Kohlers today. if the laying low didnt work then I guess she will have to cast it. so I am hoping we dont come home in a cast. I dont think Maia will be a very good "slowed down" patient. This will also likely be the last time I take ONE child to a doctor appointment while leaving all the OTHER children at home. it is less than two weeks until Cody and Chrysta go to school. after that it will be 3 with me everywhere I go. But hey thats less than it used to be right? and Sophie and Ben should start school in December with Maia so I will have two blessed afternoons a week to myself! and THAT will be a good thing. I can do anything and everything or NOTHING at all!

Not sure what to do for thanksgiving. Eric is on call. and has to work on Friday. My mom also has to work on friday. so do I go up there and have dinner with them? or just stay home? at least at home everyone is almost sleeping through the night. I wonder if I trip to grandmas for the night might set us back in that department. I could go up for the day and come home thanksgiving night but I really hate traveling on the holiday. maybe I will just stay home and cook a chicken from the freezer and make our own little dinner. I could put the bird in one crock pot and carrots and potatoes in the other, or corn pudding my favorite. but it would be fun to see my family. I only see my brother and uncle on holidays. from a sleep standpoint any option that ends with us home in our own beds is the best one. ahh wel I have a week to think about it. as dad always says, a lot could happen between now and then!

Ethan is thriving in school. but his attitude when he gets home is AWFUL! his dad gave him a stern talking to. I dont have high hopes it will be helpful but maybe. he was very sweet this morning heading to the bus. I didnt want to embarass him so I said have a good day but he came running back for a kiss and hug. he couldnt go off to school without it. and then he waved to me out the window. It is MUCH quieter during the day with him at school.

stinky Ben

Ben is learning language so quickly. he says come here! he always tells the dog he is stinky by saying stinky puppy! and when you call his name he says what? so he was just sitting here eating pomcone(popcorn) and passed gas. He laughed, as little boys do, and I told him to say excuse me. he did. and then he started giggling and said STINKY BEN! lol yes, my son, stinky ben!

FAPE

free appropriate public education. My husband doesnt seem to grasp what this means. He is ever concerned that I am taking money from someone who needs it. OUR KIDS NEED IT!! They could go to preschool/headstart where Maia goes to school and also possibly get some OT and PT. It isnt like they are going to fix Sophie's legs but it would be helpful for them academically to be able to use scissors and hold a pencil etc. I cant teach them that. not to mention the fact that neither of them has any of the skills needed for school. Draw a person with 6 parts. ben MIGHT be able to, sophie wouldnt. hop on one foot, neither. write your name, nada. tell me what color these are, nope.walk, one no and one barely. what letter is this? uh uh. how many of these are there? not a chance. they have spent years in an institution. you do not come out acting your age. you do not come out with all the knowledge you would have if you had grown in a family instead of an institution. we need to advocate for them and get them every help they can get. if its from PS then so be it. Keeping them from services they qualify for would do them an injustice. why is it wrong to send them to school for free when they need services and qualify for services? they are ENTITLED to FAPE. its the law.

ethan is off to school

his first day! he missed the FIRST first day because he was sick last monday. and all week long. but today he went and all the little kids came out to meet him as he hung up his jacket. very cute. they didnt need a notebook which I found odd. and I am worried he will be bored because of how smart he is. Ben is lookin forward to going to school. I hope they can figure out whats needed so he can go too. and Sophie. Sophie should automatically qualify as she doesnt walk. Ben is another story, he may be JUST able enough to not get services. I just dont know. Will ask today when I take Maia to school. which is shortly and she is getting antsy.

BIG NEWS!!!

true to form, I said one of the kids wouldnt or couldnt do something and they then did that very thing. I swear they do that just to prove me wrong. even if they dont hear me say it, they always seem to know I said it. and that is their cue to DO IT!

tonight Sophie was lying on the bed and the comforter was bunched beneath her a little bit. and she leaned and turned and SAT UP!!! I screamed and said DO IT AGAIN! she smiled like what mom? whats the big deal? you are SO silly. but she laid down and did it again. and I clapped and yelled YAAAYY! and whispered do it again!!! and she did and I grabbed her up and hugged her and kissed her and nearly cried. she loved the attention but probably still wonders what she did that was so exciting to me. she tried while on the floor with nothing beneath her back to give that initial start and couldnt do it, but SHE TRIED and SHE TRIED! and I helped her and then praised her for doing it.

Tonight at dinner she fed herself the entire meal. with a fork. and with minimal mess!

She has also been working hard at learning to thread and buckle her AFOs. tonight she just zipped it right in there. and I gave her a high five. Then she did the other one. another high five! and then I read her favorite llama story before bed. and she happily went to bed without complaint.

SOPHIE SAT UP!!! still incredibly shocked and thrilled and happy.

STAY!

a funny. In trying to teach the kids to let go of a toy long enough to take care of business(ie: eat or use the toilet) and that the toy would be returned to them and was out of commission to the other kids while they did their business I would put the toy aside and put my hand up and say STAY! as if commanding a dog. They seemed to get it. just now I stood up to run down to the basement and Sophie said "STAAAAY!" guess she forgives me for making her work on sitting.

SOMEONE

has a very bad case of learned helplessness. she will not even TRY, with help, to do anything she deems unnecessary. this includes sitting herself upright from her back. rolling over. getting from point a to point b if she doesnt feel like it. so right now she is screaming at me as her crackers wait for her at the table. I wont go get her to carry her. she is ticked off. kicking things and screaming. She is much more content to sit and scream than to TRY to do anything. I know that rome wasnt built in a day and she isnt going to go from lying to sitting or dressed to naked, or even naked to dressed in a day. I am more than willing to standby assist but she wont even TRY! not even to lift her head from the floor or pull herself up using something stable. this is going to be a long long battle.

I just went over and offered again to help and forced her to do it(with my help) and then rewarded her with her cookies(crackers) and YAAAAYY! then I gave her the cup and she wouldnt even reach for it, wants me to put it in her mouth. umm no. you are fully capable and I have seen it a hundred thousand times. so I helped her use her arms to do it herself. and she wont let just anyone give her the cup. only me. if maia or someone else offers it she screams. but she CAN do it herself. this is not something she needs to learn she already KNOWS how. We use a cup that is appropriate for her ability and she has been doing it herself since shortly after getting her home.

She is a tough nut to crack. a spoiled nut at that. she is awful cute its hard not to spoil her but she IS nearly 4 and needs to start TRYING to be capable for some of the things she needs to do in life.

sick sick sickk

wonder boys are still sick. wonder baby is better. big wonder brother and sis have it now. The wonder boys are the worst. whining and crying and NOTHING is right. cant go to the bathroom alone, cant open the door alone, cant drink the water alone, cant eat without help. just whine whine whine. I can see its going to take awhile AFTER the flu to get out of THAT habit. Ben just cries all day Ethan complains all day and asks me for every thing he sees a commercial for. Sophie is just crabbier than normal. she is crabby and bossy to begin with. its her general personality. Cody is just sleeping sleeping. Chrysta seems to be making a miraculous recovery. guess she just didnt want to do dishes!

I wish I had something to say besides sick kids. but my life is pretty consumed right now with sick kids! I would like to run away from home and not hold anyone! I would like my arms back thank you! I am feeling better but still get hot and cold and exhausted and then I have to take care of everyone else. ahhh a mothers job is never done.

the whole house is sick

well several of us anyways. The wonder boys are both sick. Wonder baby is sick too. Mama is sick. Maia is better but was sick. Eric had flumist and hasnt gotten sick. for whatever reason Cody and Chrysta havent gotten sick either. Poor Ben is mierable and just cries and lays around. Ethan is perking up but still pale and feverish. but well enough to be annoying and bossy to his sibs. Sophie teeters between feeling better and not feeling good. She stayed up with eric last night when I went to bed because she just wanted to be held and rocked. she woke up screaming histerical in the night twice and wouldnt be soothed by my voice. but when Eric spoke to her she settled. Not sure what that was all about.

Shriners wants medical records in order to treat the kids. except I dont HAVE medical records. they didnt seem to understand that in international adoption you get nothing. NOTHING. so they wont treat them without records and I dont have records to give. so they have to go to the doctor just to have a record I can send. seems kind of stupid to me. redundant. they kept asking why they dont have any records. HELLOO! they are ADOPTED! from UKRAINE! you just dont GET medical records! we dont even know what they have had done. husband says oh they have only been home a short time its no big deal. but it is a big deal. Poor Ben Ben's feet are so mangled. I have to give him motrin to get him to sleep through the night because he wakes hurting so bad. also I dont think his AFOs fit correctly, there is big space behind his leg. and I am tired of taking Sophie to the bathroom every hour because she cant do it herself. she is almost 4 she NEEDS to get help so she can start doing some things herself! oddly enough I havent heard from school either about finding a translator for a preschool screening.

isnt it funny

that the word for airplane and family are so similar.

kids. wish I had a dozen of them. (thats what my dad used to say)

the kids are going down the hill in the bike trailer stroller. and laughing all the way. how can I tell them not to when they are having so much fun? It isnt their safety I am so much worried about rather the safety of the stroller to handle it. but I imagine they will tire of it soon enough and move on to more exciting adventures. I always wanted to build a roller coaster of my own after reading about a boy in a book who did that. So here they are essentially making a roller coaster and lovin it. good for them. soon enough there will be snow and they can sled down the same hill. Ben was not so sure at first but he is doing it with them now.

Ben asked me yesterday when we were getting ready to leave if we were going to groupa. I said no groupa. groupa all done. he jumped off the toilet to hug me round the neck with the biggest smile. today again he was asking groupa? I said no groupa all done. and said family. (thanks christine for the word) and he smiled. It has been about a month now they have been home and they never mentioned groupa before recently. hopefully they will get the message that they are not ever going back there. that groupa is over for them.

how many days till school starts??? I dont know what is up with Ethan. I am having a hard time dealing with his anger and outbursts and his screaming! and freaking out over everything the little kids do. if they get hurt he gets angry. if the get mad and cry he gets angry. if they get tired and cry he gets angry. if they squabble over a toy he gets angry. every time he gets angry he starts stomping his feed and screaming. Why am I so lucky? No one, NO ONE ever sees this stuff but me. he never pulls this stuff with grandma. yesterday he was out with daddy all day and nary a problem. but he has always been this way with me, it's just worse now. and piano practice! ugh! forget it! anything I say to him about how or what to do he goes ballistic. why are we paying for piano lessons when he wont practice what he needs to and screams at me when I try to help him. I am really getting tired. tired in so many ways. emotionally tired from being screamed at all day and having every negativity in the house aimed at ME. physically tired because I have not slept solid through the night in a couple months. since before we came home from Ukraine the first trip. Sophie gets tangled in the blankets and cant move so she cries at night. Ben wakes crying every couple of nights. (I am banning scooby doo for awhile to see if he is having nightmares from scary scooby doo)

C and C are gone to the cities this weekend to go be with...uhh....whats the right word....the jerk? no. the idiot? no. oh father, yes they are with their father. and its deer hunting this weekend so my MIL and my own mother are coming to stay. hopefully it will be more fun than stressful to have them here. its only 930m and we have been up for HOURS, feels like naptime already. ugh.

Funny Ben and Sophie

The dog was barking abd Ben started counting him to time out. lol
Sophie was on the toilet and pretending to snore and had her eyes closed. She was telling me she understood it was time for bed. They can be such a riot! and Sophie is becoming generous and I am so proud of her for that. There is always a certain toy that everyone wants. I made Ben let her have a turn with it after he carried it around for HOURS. he wasnt happy. She was carrying it around and not really playing with it just hanging on to it for the sake of having it. After quite a while I asked if Ben could have a turn and she initially said NAY! but I asked her again gently and didnt move to take it from her. and she changed her mind and handed it over to ben saying NA! NA! When she does this I grab her and praise her up and down and smile and show her how proud I am of her. This is the little girl that would be ready to take off your arm if you got close enough to take a toy. what a long long way she has come. I can also see her smile is more genuine now. her expressions are more real. and when I come home from anywhere, even just the basement she comes to greet me with hugs and kisses and very happy faces.

Ben is very sweet always. he shows his appreciation for the things I do for him. He gives me kisses and tells me he loves me when I do things for him. Yesterday his pants were soaked, his socks were soaked, even his unders were soaked from playing outside. I took the wet stuff all off. he was crossing his legs and saying piska! I asked piska brrrrr? he laughed at that. then started telling me something about godzilla piska! that cracked me up. I got him all dressed in dry clothes and he hugged me and kissed me and told me he loved me. Very sweet boy. when someone else is yelling he blows me kisses or hugs my arm. I sure do love that boy.

Ethan is having a hard time still. We decided to send him to school. Tht will give him some time away from the new sibs and a chance to make some friends of his own. While he isnt happy about that decision I think after a day or two he is going to love it. We also decided to send the other kids to school as well. its just too hard to juggle it all. upcoming medical appointments will be many and I wont have the time to keep on them about school. Ethan will start Monday and the other two will start on Nov 30 as thats when the trimester changes. Not much sense in taking the last two weeks of a class you wont get credit for and you missed the first two and half months!

Maia likes preschool but is nervous already about going to K next year. Ben and Sophie will probably join her in preschool soon. and Ben can go to K next year too so she wont have to worry about being alone. She loves her new sibs but wants to help Ben more than he needs. And Sophie still doesnt quite know what to do with a sister. sloooooow progress. yesterday when Maia came home from school Sophie said HI MAIA!! MAIA!!

behaviors

I really expected behaviors from the newest members of the family, who are not yet home. I expected a little bit of trouble from the kids already home when they arrive. What I had not expected is for Ethan to be so angry at me for leaving him for two weeks to go to Ukraine. He is acting out all over the place. He says he isnt mad at me for leaving but he is either stuck to my side like glue or yelling at me the entire day long. At this moment he is in his room in time out for his attitude. He snarls at me when I tell him anything, good or bad. I asked him to stop so we could talk but he kept on. so off to his room instead of out to play. he is so hyper. I think he has grown so much his medication needs a change. I find myself saying CALM DOWN a lot during the day. Yesterday I took him out with me, just the two of us and he was grumpy and even surly the whole afternoon. I even took him to McDonalds and he wouldnt eat. Said he had a belly ache. This was exactly 5 minutes after he said yes he is hungry. I can only hope that the new ones behaviors are not nearly as difficult to deal with as Ethan is. If they are, I will be pulling my hair out. I guess we can just institute mandatory naptimes if necessary. Ethan napped in the car for more than an hour yesterday and he rarely ever sleeps in the car. maybe he just isnt feeling good. this mothering thing is so hard! You are always asking yourself if you are doing it right.