A Dozen Good Eggs

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Busy Weekend!

I decided on Friday to paint the kitchen this weekend. Eric had to work so it was perfect timing

Satuday we taped and painted one big wall with a passthrough window. Some kids went trick or treating with their friends. the rest of us stayed home and watched a movie after eating pizza and eating ice cream.
Today, Sunday, we tackled clearing off the cabinet tops and painting those walls. I am hoping to get oak faceplates for the outlets to be uniform with the rest of the house. Slowly, slowly, 4 years after moving in, we are claiming it and making it our own. 

Because we had the kitchen torn apart and had to put it all back together, dinner was a bit late getting going. This means the Sunday night crunch is even crunchier.  2 more kids left to shower. Some are still eating. I'm exhausted.

Tomorrow its back to school. back to laundry. But for todays scheduled activities, stuff got done. one of the benches broke so I am trying to figure a plan for seating. so far my options are,  buy a bench, paint a bench I already have.  Next up is boys bedroom and girls bedroom.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

mourning dreams

today im mourning dreams. dreams of a life where the children dont try to kill each other on a daily basis. dreams where i can decorate bedrooms, or even put clothes away and expect it to stay decorated and clothes away instead of destroyed. dreams where i can own things and kerp them in the most convenient place instead of having it stolen or have to hide it and cant use it when i need to. dreams where things stay in the condition and location i leave them. dreams where I have time for me with no mom guilt. dreams where a clean house stays clean longer than five minutes. dreams long gone. I love the kids but every now and then I mourn those dreams.

Monday, October 26, 2015


Saturday I spent shopping for a birthday present for Ben and snacks for the week and groceries for the next two weeks. Eric and I managed to sneak out for dinner Saturday night but when you have to come home and clean up everyone else's dinner mess it kind of takes something away from the joy of going out. Might as well stay home. We had cake and presents with Ben. He was happy. He is little big Ben now. He is still tiny, the size of a five year old approximately. But now he is 12! so he is little big Ben.

Sunday was a yearly farm chore that I am glad is over! Chicken butchering! We usually have cornish rock cross and they are huge. but they are stupid. We lost so many trying to let them forage/free range. One died not two feet from the door back into the pen. He couldn't find his way back.  They are bred to sit and eat and grow. thats it. they do this well but they end up covered in poop and we had some water drainage issues (now resolved) that they would just sit in the muck or get stuck in the muck and I would pull them out getting covered in chicken poop in the process while they flap wings only for them to go right back to same spot. So this year we tried a different breed. Dixie rainbows. They are mean! and also not smart. and most importantly NOT BIG! so we butchered half as many as usual because there wasn't much sense in butchering such tiny hens, they can grow and lay me some eggs instead.we put up all the roosters and a few of the hens so we are left with about 20 hens, along with the 20 I already had laying I should be good in the egg department as soon as these new ones start laying. Since the old 20 had been free ranging and laying their eggs all over the place we were having a shortage of eggs since we couldn't find them. They are now penned again. So happy egg city. and next year we will definitely be raising the cornish rock cross again. We will not have nearly as many chicken meals this winter as we did last year. 3 or 4 chicken breasts of these small birds are nowhere near ONE breast of the cornish.

Sophie got to do something really exciting on saturday. She went to her friends house! This is a rare thing for her. Most people aren't willing or able to help her but this just worked out perfectly. Her little friend Reena is in her class at school and they talk on the phone every day. for hours if I let them. We found out her friend and she have a lot more in common than we had realized. their house is all one level so no issues there. and her mom was more than willing to deal with Sophie's disability.  She doesn't need a lot but she needs help on stairs and in the bathroom. She is so excited to play there again another day or have her friend here. She stayed there five hours and didn't want to go when I picked her up!

Today is monday. Back to school. and it truly WAS monday. jackets were missing. shoes were missing. kids were running late. dogs ran out and wouldn't come in. peacefully sititng by the fire now and planning my day. Time to get moving I guess.

Friday, October 23, 2015

my life is very lonely

I have kids with behavior problems and brain problems. They don't have friends. neither do I. I deal with all of this singlehandedly. we have no outside help. my husband works long hours. his career is demanding. winter is coming and with it comes my seasonal depression. when im down or at wits end or just want someone to talk to theres really no one I can call. I work really hard to maintain my everything is fine face. everything is not fine. its hell many days.  the boys are the hardest but the girls can be pretty snarky and nasty too. one hasnt spoken to me in two days and avoids me. because i scolded her for complaining constantly about the food provided. she isnt new. in fact i get a lot of feedback about everything I do lately. I plan do do less of it. of anything. of everything.   I wish I had some where to get away. I don't. It never ends. when they are at school I cant find the energy to do much of anything and theres nothing to do anyways that doesn't include spending money. Im out of furniture and paint. The fridge is looking pretty barren. but I lack the energy to go grocery shopping. I would just buy the wrong thing anyways. it isnt like theres no food. its just that theres no convenience food. and since I generally shop to a menu its very hard to find some things to put together to make dinner especially since again it wont be good enough. I have zero energy. and kids who suck the life out of you. not a good combo. tv only depresses me more because it's all about relationships and drives home how I have only Eric and dysfunctional kids. I have put everyone elses needs first for so long i don't even know what I need or want. I just know it isn't this.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

its pretty depressing

when all the people you thought were your friends don't even notice you're gone.

My other blog

thislittlesuitcase.blogspot.com    is where I will share what donation project I am working on to help people.

what I have been doing

 This is the dresser I redid for Juno. Its pretty pink. Solid oak. Since the handles were custom I couldnt really replace the missing one but Juno likes it.
 After. This one is for Jack and Ben and Andre.

this one isn't quite finished. I have a little touchup on the drawar fronts to do and a coat of wax. Not sure which kid is getting this one. Probably the upstairs girls.

Now I am searching high and low for cheap/free decent quality furniture I can redo. Next up is a nightstand for me which means the current nigh table can be redone for someone else.