tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32219509068803992572024-02-20T14:17:06.541-08:00EnbergadventuresThis blog is about our adventures as a large family. We have fourteen kids in our family. Not every one lives at home. Sometimes life is easy and sometimes its weary to the bone hard.MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.comBlogger462125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-3358848833876961012016-10-27T20:18:00.004-07:002016-10-27T20:18:57.339-07:00Sophie fell and broke her arm last week. That has kept me busy. She cried all day and since it wasnt obviously broken I assumed it would pass. It didnt. I took her to urgent care and they werent really sure but guessed it wasnt broken. The next day was more of the same as far as sophie crying and begging for pain meds. Totally unlike her. The doctor called and informed the the radiologist said her arm was NOT broken. Several more days crying and pain. and through the weekend. I finally called her specialist in Philly. They asked me to send a copy of the x rays. In attempting to do so I was able to see the radiologist report and hear it as well. It was clearly broken! right where she said it hurt. Poor kid went a week with a broken arm and no cast! I quickly got her into clinic for casting before anything else happened to her arm. One day with that cast and she informed me she would nearly get her hand out. it was too loose. Given her hand contractures she isnt exactly an easy kid to cast. Today we went to Ortho and had them cast it. She got pink cast. Got a script faxed to school so I dont have to keep running up there when she needs pain meds. I am hoping she can be status quo a while now and heal her arm. Of course the cast means she can no longer take herself to the bathroom. She needs assistance. She is at least perking up a little and having some fun between medication times. In the beginning she would mope all day and then cry for pain meds when they are starting to wear off..MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-17276497028006745572016-09-18T12:11:00.000-07:002016-09-18T12:11:46.053-07:00how do you get anywhere?well we mostly don't get there on time but we do get there. Most of the kids are able to take care of their own showering, dressing and generally getting ready to go somewhere. They do need reminders often. Some are completely incapable of doing that for themselves, that's where we step in and do it for them. There are lots of opportunities to try to do things that are hard but when we are working to get somewhere in a timely manner is not it. We drive a 15 passenger van in the summer when we go out. It doesn't drive well in the winter so we usually park it in a snowbank for the cold snowy months. We have enough seats in the mini van and prius if we go somewhere in the winter. that means we both have to drive but we rarely leave town in the winter so it isn't too bad. School events and community events we drive to in two vehicles. This also allows me to use my handicapped plates to park closer to the doors and take the kids who need that, and the others can park further away and get a little energy out walking to the doors.<br />
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It isn't that difficult getting us anywhere but getting there on time is a bigger issue. Certain children have difficulty keeping track of necessary items like shoes and coats. You wouldn't think a coat could get lost that easy but it's easier than you think apparently. Even when half the kids are ready someone else is still trying to find their ______(fill in the blank). There are at least 2 kids who live life on their terms and time is not their friend. They just move at whatever speed they feel and any amount of urging or hurrying will do nothing to speed it up. even when everyone is in the car , one of those kids is still poking along getting ready to go. They seem to enjoy holding everyone hostage. There have been occasions we just picked them up and put them in a car and left, unable to wait any longer for their poky attitude. <br />
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Where do we go? We try to take a bit of a family vacation in the summer. We go to the library often in the summer. We also enjoy music in the park most Tuesday evenings of June, July, and August. We like to go to the beach. In winter we have school activities and some outdoor fun activities that requires all of us to carpool. More often not everyone is going so its easy to just hop in the mini van and go. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-20727412097581710642016-09-07T10:46:00.003-07:002016-09-07T10:46:50.443-07:00Livin LargeBeing a large family with 11 of our 14 kids living at home I often get questions about how do you do this or that? You must be really organized! Mostly I am not organized I just have a good memory. I Do have a few things I do to make things easier. I thought I would share some here. <br />
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meals. How do you cook for such a large family? Well it's been so long I have been doing it I don't know how to cook for only a few people! One thing I do is make a menu for 2 weeks(sometimes I do a month, depends how ambitious I am at that moment). Then I list all ingredients needed to cook those meals. I also buy cereal and milk just about every time I am out. I often buy milk 10 gallons at a time. I have started to save that menu and list in a binder so that later I can go back and grab a menu and list without having to sit down and write it out. WHy didn't I think of that sooner? I keep favorite recipes in the binder as well as the menus and lists. I cook in 8 and 10 quart pots. a four quart pot would not cook enough of anything for our family. I have a few small sauce pans the kids use when making something for just themselves. I have also started making bread. Homemade bread is filling and adds to a meal and makes it go further. I have been known to roast a chicken for chicken dinner, save the brother and make chicken soup, use the leftover chicken for a hot dish, and then have one night we eat leftovers. that's four meals from a couple roasted birds. This year we do not have any birds in the freezer. I will miss that in the cold dark winter. <br />
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Laundry. It's never done. There are approximately 2 times a year for about 5 minutes when all laundry is done. Just before the kids go to summer camp is one time. the other time is usually just before school. I missed both times this year. Came really close before camp but didn't quite make it. Not even close before school. The girls do their own laundry. Jaeger has begun to do his. I do household and the boys' and Sophie's and Eric's and my own. It is still never done. <br />
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Cleaning. My kids are slobs. I do a lot of picking up tidying up but they have not been great about helping. Recently we are trying new chore chart to see if that helps. So far its going ok. It breaks everyone up into teams. Then each team of 2 has two jobs to do. We tried boys night and girls night doing the dishes but that wasn't going so well. Pairing up some of the difficult kids has been hard in the past because no one wants to work with them. So far this pairing is going ok. Our house is never spotless but it is tidy. and the dishes are done daily. With this many kids that's really all I can hope for. <br />
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Sports and activities. There aren't any ! no one is playing sports at the moment. and music lessons come in the form of band lessons at school. With many doctor and dentist and orthodontist and therapy appointments in addition to rides to friends houses or activities with friends I don't see how sports can factor in. There are just not enough hours in the day. No one has shown a great interest thus far in sports but if they REALLY wanted to do something we would figure out a way. At the moment no one is interested.<br />
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pets. Yes we have pets. Dogs cats and rabbits currently. Mocha is a springer spaniel and Australian shepherd mix. Java is a lab and pit bull mix but really looks more like a rat terrier of sorts. The cats are Maisy and Fiver. There are 8 or 9 rabbits at the moment. Frosty and Simon had 9 babies. one died and 2 went to new homes. Everyone who said I want a rabbit I want a rabbit backed out when the babies were born. <br />
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School days. 5am wake up gets everyone out the door by 7. most of them are self sufficient and lunches are made the night before. Busses come at 6:55am. Homework if there is any is done at the dining room table after school. As long as I remember to wake everyone up and they have enough clean clothes its not too bad getting them all out the door. most of them are ready, all of their own accord by 630 or so. Only Sophie and Juno need assistance. <br />
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MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-38369073859105140102016-09-06T12:22:00.005-07:002016-09-06T16:10:21.665-07:00The ScoopMy great grandfather was called Scoop. I can't recall the reason but whenever I offer the scoop on things I think of him. So here is what is new around here, the real scoop. <br />
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Kids went off to school today. First day of the new year. One child has been struggling with mental health, social problems, school behavior problems, academic refusal. We suspect FAS. That child is staying home this year to homeschool with me. We started today also. Seems like the right thing for him. He works hard for me. As he works out his past traumas and finds ways to integrate into the life around him, school is not the place for him. He can not handle it. So home it is. I would wager that we did more today on the first day in 2 hours than the other kids did all day today at school. FAS diagnosis is in process but it is a long drawn out process and that is one more reason to keep him home. <br />
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So 3 kids are in 7th grade. technically. one is home with me and didn't do much of anything in 6th grade so I don't know if I should call him 7th grader or not. Sophie, the youngest, is in 5th grade this year. The other 6 are in grade 6. This means that they are all in middle school. Everyone is in one school. one building. except the one that's with me and I shouldn't have to pick that child up because he is ill or has bad behavior. I also don't have to worry about him catching the bus so I would say everyone is in one school is a fair assessment as far as communication with school. <br />
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Since its another year later we are all another year older. Except me, I'm still 27. Shhh don't tell Sophie that's not the truth. She believes it wholeheartedly. <br />
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Juno got a diagnosis last year of col6a2. what this means for her future is uncertain. We will continue to take one day at a time with her. We will assume she will live a long life and encourage her to remain active as long as possible. That is all we can do. <br />
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We took a family vacation in August to Minneapolis St Paul area. We spent a day at the art museum and the science museum. We spent another day at valleyfair (similar to 6 flags park). We stayed in a hotel and ordered in pizza and generally had a great time. <br />
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Back on the home front Eric remains very busy putting up several greenhouses on our property. He (and we) are anxious for them to be done. <br />
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We had to give away our chickens this year. With the greenhouse construction they couldn't remain in the fenced garden area. They refused to stay in their area and constantly wandered into the construction area making it unsafe and unsanitary. We moved them out to the field below the house. The coyotes took over from there. One day there were about 50 chickens. then 40. then 12. then 5. at which point I didn't want to care for them anymore. We would put more time energy and money into 5 birds than we could get out of them IF the coyotes didn't get them first. So they went to a new home. We will try again next year in the old area inside the 6 foot fence where we never had issues before. Because of this we have no roaster chickens in the freezer. No chicken breasts. we also have no eggs coming in. And because the greenhouse is where the garden was last year and its been so time consuming we had no garden this year so we have no veggies to freeze or can. Very disappointing to buy chicken and eggs from the store. <br />
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I guess that's about all the news from lake woebegone. I will try to carve out more time to keep up this blog. I know I have things to say. I should probably try and find time to work on my book as well. but the children need me and that doesn't leave as much time as I would like for those things. I'll try though.<br />
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<br />MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-89923582005476237592016-09-05T13:04:00.002-07:002016-09-05T13:04:57.211-07:00new laptopand I am hoping that will translate to more blog posts. As we get ready to go back to school here life is busy and somewhat difficult. As puberty marches in and takes hold the children seem to lose their minds. They revert to being 2. are you 14 or 2? some days I can't tell. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-3848690410639194322015-11-01T18:36:00.003-08:002015-11-01T18:36:53.634-08:00Busy Weekend!I decided on Friday to paint the kitchen this weekend. Eric had to work so it was perfect timing<br />
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Satuday we taped and painted one big wall with a passthrough window. Some kids went trick or treating with their friends. the rest of us stayed home and watched a movie after eating pizza and eating ice cream.<br />
Today, Sunday, we tackled clearing off the cabinet tops and painting those walls. I am hoping to get oak faceplates for the outlets to be uniform with the rest of the house. Slowly, slowly, 4 years after moving in, we are claiming it and making it our own. <br />
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Because we had the kitchen torn apart and had to put it all back together, dinner was a bit late getting going. This means the Sunday night crunch is even crunchier. 2 more kids left to shower. Some are still eating. I'm exhausted.<br />
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Tomorrow its back to school. back to laundry. But for todays scheduled activities, stuff got done. one of the benches broke so I am trying to figure a plan for seating. so far my options are, buy a bench, paint a bench I already have. Next up is boys bedroom and girls bedroom. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-14622735041090137952015-10-31T10:39:00.004-07:002015-10-31T10:39:54.511-07:00mourning dreamstoday im mourning dreams. dreams of a life where the children dont try to kill each other on a daily basis. dreams where i can decorate bedrooms, or even put clothes away and expect it to stay decorated and clothes away instead of destroyed. dreams where i can own things and kerp them in the most convenient place instead of having it stolen or have to hide it and cant use it when i need to. dreams where things stay in the condition and location i leave them. dreams where I have time for me with no mom guilt. dreams where a clean house stays clean longer than five minutes. dreams long gone. I love the kids but every now and then I mourn those dreams.MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-74068736385134325812015-10-26T07:41:00.000-07:002015-10-26T07:41:19.812-07:00weekendSaturday I spent shopping for a birthday present for Ben and snacks for the week and groceries for the next two weeks. Eric and I managed to sneak out for dinner Saturday night but when you have to come home and clean up everyone else's dinner mess it kind of takes something away from the joy of going out. Might as well stay home. We had cake and presents with Ben. He was happy. He is little big Ben now. He is still tiny, the size of a five year old approximately. But now he is 12! so he is little big Ben.<br />
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Sunday was a yearly farm chore that I am glad is over! Chicken butchering! We usually have cornish rock cross and they are huge. but they are stupid. We lost so many trying to let them forage/free range. One died not two feet from the door back into the pen. He couldn't find his way back. They are bred to sit and eat and grow. thats it. they do this well but they end up covered in poop and we had some water drainage issues (now resolved) that they would just sit in the muck or get stuck in the muck and I would pull them out getting covered in chicken poop in the process while they flap wings only for them to go right back to same spot. So this year we tried a different breed. Dixie rainbows. They are mean! and also not smart. and most importantly NOT BIG! so we butchered half as many as usual because there wasn't much sense in butchering such tiny hens, they can grow and lay me some eggs instead.we put up all the roosters and a few of the hens so we are left with about 20 hens, along with the 20 I already had laying I should be good in the egg department as soon as these new ones start laying. Since the old 20 had been free ranging and laying their eggs all over the place we were having a shortage of eggs since we couldn't find them. They are now penned again. So happy egg city. and next year we will definitely be raising the cornish rock cross again. We will not have nearly as many chicken meals this winter as we did last year. 3 or 4 chicken breasts of these small birds are nowhere near ONE breast of the cornish.<br />
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Sophie got to do something really exciting on saturday. She went to her friends house! This is a rare thing for her. Most people aren't willing or able to help her but this just worked out perfectly. Her little friend Reena is in her class at school and they talk on the phone every day. for hours if I let them. We found out her friend and she have a lot more in common than we had realized. their house is all one level so no issues there. and her mom was more than willing to deal with Sophie's disability. She doesn't need a lot but she needs help on stairs and in the bathroom. She is so excited to play there again another day or have her friend here. She stayed there five hours and didn't want to go when I picked her up!<br />
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Today is monday. Back to school. and it truly WAS monday. jackets were missing. shoes were missing. kids were running late. dogs ran out and wouldn't come in. peacefully sititng by the fire now and planning my day. Time to get moving I guess. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-77560896667671456402015-10-23T11:56:00.003-07:002015-10-23T11:56:49.766-07:00my life is very lonely I have kids with behavior problems and brain problems. They don't have friends. neither do I. I deal with all of this singlehandedly. we have no outside help. my husband works long hours. his career is demanding. winter is coming and with it comes my seasonal depression. when im down or at wits end or just want someone to talk to theres really no one I can call. I work really hard to maintain my everything is fine face. everything is not fine. its hell many days. the boys are the hardest but the girls can be pretty snarky and nasty too. one hasnt spoken to me in two days and avoids me. because i scolded her for complaining constantly about the food provided. she isnt new. in fact i get a lot of feedback about everything I do lately. I plan do do less of it. of anything. of everything. I wish I had some where to get away. I don't. It never ends. when they are at school I cant find the energy to do much of anything and theres nothing to do anyways that doesn't include spending money. Im out of furniture and paint. The fridge is looking pretty barren. but I lack the energy to go grocery shopping. I would just buy the wrong thing anyways. it isnt like theres no food. its just that theres no convenience food. and since I generally shop to a menu its very hard to find some things to put together to make dinner especially since again it wont be good enough. I have zero energy. and kids who suck the life out of you. not a good combo. tv only depresses me more because it's all about relationships and drives home how I have only Eric and dysfunctional kids. I have put everyone elses needs first for so long i don't even know what I need or want. I just know it isn't this.MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-85891028925039031452015-10-22T19:36:00.002-07:002015-10-22T19:36:36.605-07:00its pretty depressingwhen all the people you thought were your friends don't even notice you're gone. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-22015914916047813832015-10-22T08:12:00.000-07:002015-10-22T08:12:01.598-07:00My other blogthislittlesuitcase.blogspot.com is where I will share what donation project I am working on to help people. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-10228649463550444532015-10-22T07:50:00.001-07:002015-10-22T07:50:46.892-07:00what I have been doing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7G7UnUr3rEPT7ofPKThxkPYbp4uO6HE9xI45R4dN_O9V43k6xFXwwV_c0Lu2-mO6XtRNhRo5JzruAmF51obNfMCEtkcC36rh9Muv6QBW-1Ehnpx9E8vFFZeijVeWyb4NF6zFI60SFwhE/s1600/20151016_133935.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7G7UnUr3rEPT7ofPKThxkPYbp4uO6HE9xI45R4dN_O9V43k6xFXwwV_c0Lu2-mO6XtRNhRo5JzruAmF51obNfMCEtkcC36rh9Muv6QBW-1Ehnpx9E8vFFZeijVeWyb4NF6zFI60SFwhE/s320/20151016_133935.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
This is the dresser I redid for Juno. Its pretty pink. Solid oak. Since the handles were custom I couldnt really replace the missing one but Juno likes it. <br />
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Before<br />
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After. This one is for Jack and Ben and Andre.<br />
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this one isn't quite finished. I have a little touchup on the drawar fronts to do and a coat of wax. Not sure which kid is getting this one. Probably the upstairs girls.<br />
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Now I am searching high and low for cheap/free decent quality furniture I can redo. Next up is a nightstand for me which means the current nigh table can be redone for someone else. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-47204639691300167672015-10-19T09:16:00.000-07:002015-10-19T09:42:42.057-07:00Growing upThe kids are growing up. Some wise person once told me that the years go fast but the days go slow. Cody is now 21. He is legal to do about anything at this point. Unfortunately he doesn't do much. He rarely comes out of his room. He has tried finding a job to no avail. He had trouble with school and is on academic suspension(which I don't understand. If I want to throw money at the school for classes what business is it of theirs if hes passing or not passing. It's MY MONEY! he got absolutely no financial aid) He has since been diagnosed as autistic. We have known for years but no one would ever say it. I have tried getting a diagnosis since he was six years old. so now we have a 21 year old hermit. He does help me around the farm and with kids though.<br />
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Chrysta is almost 19. She is at school at Normandale, paying her own way, living at her dads. She was home for a visit this weekend. It was so great to hug her and have her here. She was only here a short time but spent most of it with her sisters and a little with me. There wasn't much fighting. That's always good. She is finally growing up a little. Although when it comes to Cody she still argues like crazy.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7AeQjEMwJ1g-7QuQeEPCPqWu8teQi-2Dcfj6yU06LdODLvw7KjAM9svDOGBXrIK4fY82dvBqUgE2I4CVaRqxqUU2RHXFSOUm2Smis08ZJspaz_HlEMQCwg9Ra7XN9KyiPLkFWlvcaSrY/s1600/all+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7AeQjEMwJ1g-7QuQeEPCPqWu8teQi-2Dcfj6yU06LdODLvw7KjAM9svDOGBXrIK4fY82dvBqUgE2I4CVaRqxqUU2RHXFSOUm2Smis08ZJspaz_HlEMQCwg9Ra7XN9KyiPLkFWlvcaSrY/s320/all+5.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">maia diana natasha juno sophie on a girls day out</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPXcjNAng0Q4fH-t0XS7bgNSkIA2kb9uPxl8Cpf51w_-fdu6VWx-yLoAZxavCS3uBKhQrtSEAm4HTvZhJlK1Yt7PyTbM8lyHhNGQwf36SMsj_C-tmEJfnQy0Y6bbCeUdO0JRK_fXNZCuE/s1600/ben+andre.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPXcjNAng0Q4fH-t0XS7bgNSkIA2kb9uPxl8Cpf51w_-fdu6VWx-yLoAZxavCS3uBKhQrtSEAm4HTvZhJlK1Yt7PyTbM8lyHhNGQwf36SMsj_C-tmEJfnQy0Y6bbCeUdO0JRK_fXNZCuE/s320/ben+andre.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ben and andre. birthday twins. exactly one month apart.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyv5VZtRZYGjqiKx9I_z6BrdPamdXe99W_xvx3GvjE6IlUGZcoIZ-D9Aqo6_4mP52PKY9LrFQMS3TZCi7PrhEO_SjpFpEaRL23ivLLehHkTAoqZpRdfKVSLASIuHBgEmkrWo9_dswp9Bc/s1600/chrysta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyv5VZtRZYGjqiKx9I_z6BrdPamdXe99W_xvx3GvjE6IlUGZcoIZ-D9Aqo6_4mP52PKY9LrFQMS3TZCi7PrhEO_SjpFpEaRL23ivLLehHkTAoqZpRdfKVSLASIuHBgEmkrWo9_dswp9Bc/s320/chrysta.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">chrysta</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRr3f_WhhZvkkoRyPcA5SOdTxlWbQhFPbhVKggphz1hyfYTyrh8deXhQbUImgqB0MBP4gAb32VryzflyH39tX2duk6ser-iHonw8hi3Ey5w2zTYxviUt5E_JN_q7ZKZmLpZUpuD3Epz10/s1600/cody.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRr3f_WhhZvkkoRyPcA5SOdTxlWbQhFPbhVKggphz1hyfYTyrh8deXhQbUImgqB0MBP4gAb32VryzflyH39tX2duk6ser-iHonw8hi3Ey5w2zTYxviUt5E_JN_q7ZKZmLpZUpuD3Epz10/s320/cody.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cody</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIJLZQ2IOQUvUvrs-m7WZXkaAK1H0J650h-KFtfsqouCpjjdybXIbC_qxC0ZPC3RHkljG2ugzJbM7BttnUeEO_e1QGp1MFzS1f5Un8JV_3VOLcs_EQNVK5XDGBxqVN9cKJ9IhFmmj0_k4/s1600/crazy+kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIJLZQ2IOQUvUvrs-m7WZXkaAK1H0J650h-KFtfsqouCpjjdybXIbC_qxC0ZPC3RHkljG2ugzJbM7BttnUeEO_e1QGp1MFzS1f5Un8JV_3VOLcs_EQNVK5XDGBxqVN9cKJ9IhFmmj0_k4/s320/crazy+kids.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jaeger maia juno diana natasha</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqAzmNSFBb3xemt82Wow4Sm7YBcfyipJANNIAbIG_lbyEoxPXStnhgPebJeXurhhLUhPLnHwTBCoco7gnc3GVrbAqjMHTLuUFB_RF4rYmqqWahUAFZEWSiM96-172mzwlZkhUwe1hrvk/s1600/diana+and+natasha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqAzmNSFBb3xemt82Wow4Sm7YBcfyipJANNIAbIG_lbyEoxPXStnhgPebJeXurhhLUhPLnHwTBCoco7gnc3GVrbAqjMHTLuUFB_RF4rYmqqWahUAFZEWSiM96-172mzwlZkhUwe1hrvk/s320/diana+and+natasha.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diana and Natasha</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOLSa7u5HAcYAAxQgscBV7MH0yHXdzPAOmspoIvL4Ho0PuHjXpSn1FVhDsx0GMCSgIdHPtyNCeHn47ouoEHaI3QZNgSo1ULwcWInPQ4r-uF7r3M_uxW2hOKBStwd4EKttSiFcxjKX2D78/s1600/ethan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOLSa7u5HAcYAAxQgscBV7MH0yHXdzPAOmspoIvL4Ho0PuHjXpSn1FVhDsx0GMCSgIdHPtyNCeHn47ouoEHaI3QZNgSo1ULwcWInPQ4r-uF7r3M_uxW2hOKBStwd4EKttSiFcxjKX2D78/s320/ethan.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ethan</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiemYq1Q8vjORJSWUls2x1lkMe7AJxkVA-7zaM9JosOU5TPYoL_R0ThJVy_-ABJqY31eFS6xnJUhlsARRl540JwYeGImt_dKwpcrqlEv0NDMuWxT3phZoG7aBn9MQubA5CvPIJOYqSv7Go/s1600/family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiemYq1Q8vjORJSWUls2x1lkMe7AJxkVA-7zaM9JosOU5TPYoL_R0ThJVy_-ABJqY31eFS6xnJUhlsARRl540JwYeGImt_dKwpcrqlEv0NDMuWxT3phZoG7aBn9MQubA5CvPIJOYqSv7Go/s320/family.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">all together</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaw2SQv2jL2-N5-Cs2wkI9-_lR4NYlNIQTaYDiBPNYiWhg2d99P2yrF2sJScQg5YNCWRKIsDC_O7IYWcEf0L3gzHI5QlRlLlV-8yRoGXZAG8sjbIsbLbK4d_odCEIxPhidgCz7n54yPx8/s1600/jack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaw2SQv2jL2-N5-Cs2wkI9-_lR4NYlNIQTaYDiBPNYiWhg2d99P2yrF2sJScQg5YNCWRKIsDC_O7IYWcEf0L3gzHI5QlRlLlV-8yRoGXZAG8sjbIsbLbK4d_odCEIxPhidgCz7n54yPx8/s320/jack.jpg" width="176" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jack and mama</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK4eRjr0UE9cGryjDidMyF9rdERBk_uRzQX3FnDA-RmfjaNfhv1xW6uqAGcuzk_UtaVuS-mDXoDObPmxj40Eoh_jyO9ahvoxU3s5cK7S35LR4ql36Dv_M-i2GvghkxhyobJwmB_W1fSyY/s1600/jaeg+andre+ethan+diana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK4eRjr0UE9cGryjDidMyF9rdERBk_uRzQX3FnDA-RmfjaNfhv1xW6uqAGcuzk_UtaVuS-mDXoDObPmxj40Eoh_jyO9ahvoxU3s5cK7S35LR4ql36Dv_M-i2GvghkxhyobJwmB_W1fSyY/s320/jaeg+andre+ethan+diana.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jaeger andre ethan and diana. maia mama and natasha in background</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiLfwMnYWxgF5IaR8LTbsQxyvgsMUlrRwRA910mhUV_5FFvO3HbSaTIMsqhplQ83WkynsQJo9rne7NOrpSiOiVtokOuB8e1hxREGks7WbzYRS9nKkQYYal4V54QtOPur4FaH8C7qNglz0/s1600/juno.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiLfwMnYWxgF5IaR8LTbsQxyvgsMUlrRwRA910mhUV_5FFvO3HbSaTIMsqhplQ83WkynsQJo9rne7NOrpSiOiVtokOuB8e1hxREGks7WbzYRS9nKkQYYal4V54QtOPur4FaH8C7qNglz0/s320/juno.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Junoe and mama</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdr9JJO4DYDfLCQbWXgcdwo5GtzzRyT2eLa5meJzeRpHnAIRtnB5pPSk9Zq4MxM2G8LAPGeRqqnIdO3F2ZU7T72WPI3kf9dagI7K3V6_M6Zz30ig48H8KhbY64X8VqwLmLWEFsIQP5G9w/s1600/sophie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdr9JJO4DYDfLCQbWXgcdwo5GtzzRyT2eLa5meJzeRpHnAIRtnB5pPSk9Zq4MxM2G8LAPGeRqqnIdO3F2ZU7T72WPI3kf9dagI7K3V6_M6Zz30ig48H8KhbY64X8VqwLmLWEFsIQP5G9w/s320/sophie.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sophie first day of fourth grade</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitCrZjvYmKZsNSptXlBy-lw-eG48wTQBZ4MUtb8_iHiD2prZ6lh2LBIZxF57syChKT-S2iipGrE0TiNzOtF8RrYdmrxM0-WCxg37WveoEMOYpoAb0MuRudE-YLMqRA5DUVbndbrIVL7t0/s1600/sweet+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitCrZjvYmKZsNSptXlBy-lw-eG48wTQBZ4MUtb8_iHiD2prZ6lh2LBIZxF57syChKT-S2iipGrE0TiNzOtF8RrYdmrxM0-WCxg37WveoEMOYpoAb0MuRudE-YLMqRA5DUVbndbrIVL7t0/s200/sweet+love.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">chrysta and ben. sweet love</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Jaeger is 13, 14 in December! Yikes! He has been a roller coaster. He spent some time in a group over the summer to learn to handle his anger and deal with situations that are frustrating. He seemed to do really well when he first finished the program but that has worn off and its been a difficult couple of months. The last several days he seems to be calm rational and even caring(although getting up for school is difficult. but most teens are that way) His bestest friend moved nearby and he can ride his bike over there and often does. He and Ethan have the most animosity. its a constant battle between the two. Jaeger has a way of only doing things out of sight so he can deny it and Ethan has a bit of paranoia and claims everything Jaeger does is against him. Mostly I try to keep them apart to avoid a fist fight. Lately I have started talking to Jaeger about how HE has to walk away because Ethan cant. Sometimes Jaeg walks away now. progress!! He is learning to play the sax at school where he is in sixth grade. He has had a few run ins with disciplinarian there but after I assured Mr. S. I wanted to hear EVERYTHING he did I havent heard too much. Hoping that means he is behaving and not that he just isnt getting caught.<br />
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Natasha is 13. She is beautiful and smart and usually kind. She is in sixth grade also. She is playing flute. She also plays a bit of piano. She has her moments as all kids do but she is really a sweet girl and I love her to death. She helps me a lot. This year Natasha was chosen to run cross country with the varsity and junior varsity cross country team. She started out coming in at 18th place and ended the year coming in 3rd! And she shaved 2 minutes off her time running the mile. She is very much a dream child, as well as a straight A student. She has big dreams and she isnt afraid to go get them.<br />
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Ethan is also 13. He too is in sixth grade. He struggles a bit more academically due to his fasd. He also went to the program Jaeger went to and it didnt help him one bit. not even a little. I wont lie he is a difficult kid to live with. He has many behaviors that are difficult to deal with. His very much lives in his primal brain. Life is fight or flight and it is NEVER EVER flight. A mere suggestion can set him off. He can be very mean to his brothers. As much as he feels Jaeger is out to get him he is mean to Ben without a second thought. Most interactions with Ethan are negative. There is not a single day without yelling. He is never responsible for anything that happens. its always my fault, or our fault, or someone elses fault. If he can't find his shoes, its because someone took them, not because he left them out by the trampoline. He is improving at math and can read a real chapter book now, although he still prefers garfield or calvin and hobbes. I dont know what his future will hold. I hope I live to see it.<br />
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Diana is 12. She is giggly and silly and FUNNY. an all around character. A great student and loves to bake goodies. She loves her dog. She likes her rabbits but doesn't like taking care of them. She is fussy and ridiculous sometimes but she is a good girl. She cracks me up DAILY. every single day. She loves movies. She loves SHOPPING! She loves eating. Unless its spaghetti or beans and rice. She hates working but tolerates it because we pay her well for helping out around the farm. Diana is going to grow up and do something awesome. Something funny and awesome. I dont know what it will be but she will do something without a doubt.<br />
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Andre is 12 and oh boy has puberty done a number on him. He is ornery sassy and knows it all. NO ONE can tell him anything. he already knows it all. except he doesnt REALLY know anything. He makes me crazy most days. He loves basketball and working. but of course you cant tell him HOW to do anything. He is in grade five where he is doing ok. he has fas also. He shares a room with jack and ben and they often giggle into the night. He doesnt sleep much.<br />
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Ben is going to be 12 on the 24th!!! My Ben will be 12!! I cant believe it. He was five when he came home. He is still so tiny! he has fas also. He wears a size 5. He may be 12 but he is very much still a little boy. He loves cars more than anything. and his stuffed pug. He is pokey and slow at anything. but he is sweet as pie and everyone who ever meets him adores him right off. He is very slow academically as well. but he is making progress. He seems to know right from wrong unlike the other two guys with fas. I rarely have issue with behaviors from Ben. He is sweet and cute, and very young.<br />
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Juno, aka Junie is my sweet girl. I love her so much. She really is blossoming. School has been a battle because they just want to throw her and jack into fifth grade and expect them to do fifth grade work. uhhh hello that isnt going to work! Last years teacher was really great about finding work at their level. She took second grade twice in Ukraine. And I know school was NOT something she cared about there. She is trying hard here but they have to give her appropriate work! I am trying to get her an iep based on her physical disability. We recently did some serial casting on her feet. We didnt make progress. Just enough to mess up her ability to walk on her own. We dont know what else to do until we have a definitive diagnosis which may still take months. She submitted a dna test for a certain form of MD. We just ordered her a new wheel chair of her own. a BLUE one. she loves blue. Right now she is using a loaner chair. She shares her room with Sophie but Maia seems to enjoy sleeping in there too. She started out sleeping in there with Juno but never stopped. She loves to snuggle up with someone. She always has. Junie loves it too. Its a win win.<br />
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Maia is 11. She wants to be 11 forever. She wanted to be 10 forever. she is in no hurry to grow up.She is my love. She is my birth kid so sometimes gets the brunt of some of the other kids anger. She doesnt like to work. She does however do well at school. She loves the animals. She loves her mama and papa. She loves even five minutes of alone attention. She is silly and loud. She tries to get along with most everyone although she does not tolerate Andre well. She is smart and loving. She is a neat kid that sometimes gets left behind and gets her feelings hurt. she is a lot like i was that way.<br />
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Jack is 10. We always say Jack is like a puppy. he loves everything and everyone. He loves every new experience. he loves to help. he loves his mama. He and Ben are best buddies. He loves to put the dogs out. and let them in. and let them out. and let them in. His best friend is Brayden and he went to his house this week and LOVED it and cant wait to go again.<br />
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Sophie is still my sweet adorable baby. We were just talking about it today that she is the baby of the family and thats a special spot in the family. She is sweet and tries hard to get on juno's good side but it most times doesnt pay off. She is a little spoiled I admit it but SHES THE BABY! Even if she is almost 10. AHHHH!! double digits! She has come so far. she is amazing. <br />
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<br />MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-4113031519927150722015-10-15T17:03:00.001-07:002015-10-15T17:03:59.929-07:00I have backed off Facebook. I am tired of mean snarky comments. especially from those i thought were trustworthy. Since its been nearly a week and noone has contacted me outside of Facebook its probably safe to say I am not missed. I always mistakenly think people are my friends. I guess I don't have much in the way of friends. probably common with eleven kids at home. I find myself thinking about sharing things that happen throughout the day and then remember there is no one to share it with. If I can remember all my random thoughts throughout the day Maybe I will post them here. update on the kids, in case anyone still reads this. aj is ornery. jack is starting to.act like jaeger and not in a good way. girls are fine. natasha did great in cc this year. maia and diana played volleyball. both ended this week. Ethan is difficult and getting more difficult by the day. sophie is as always a sweetheart. juno is changing a lot. starting to open up. ben is still ben. cute as a button and everyone's love. I started painting furniture with chalk paint. just finishing a dresser for juno.MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-61592790309486843822015-01-26T03:15:00.002-08:002015-01-26T03:15:50.740-08:00pollyannaI tend to be a bit of an optimist.I not only see the glass as half full but am thankful there is a glass to fill, a table to set it on, and something to fill it with. Right now however I feel hopeless and helpless. I will link to my other blog where I expanded on those feelings. I am Pollyanna most days. Today no so much.<br />
http://wherethereisroomforeveryone.blogspot.com/2015/01/i-am-here.htmlMoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-62745134454720074862014-07-29T11:04:00.002-07:002014-07-29T11:04:32.009-07:00last chance on tshirt fundraiser!Help us bring home another child! Buy a shirt! <a href="https://www.bonfirefunds.com/bringing-hope-to-damaris">https://www.bonfirefunds.com/bringing-hope-to-damaris</a> we are nowhere near our goal on this fundraiser. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-4898801530089271972014-04-24T11:32:00.000-07:002014-04-24T11:32:04.535-07:00whats new pussycat?well we have five new diagnosis at our house. Our Ben has been diagnosed with FAS(fetal alcohol sundrome). We always knew he functioned a lot lower than the others but didn't see the facial features of FAS. Andre, who I see the facial features of FAS got a diagnosis of FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) as well as reactive attachment disorder(RAD). Ethan who is very slight, but doesn't otherwise appear to have a lot of the bodily features of FAS, was diagnosed with static encephalopathy and autism. None of these were a huge surprise. This will help in getting them appropriate services at school and in the community but does not really change our lives drastically at home. and none of the new diagnosis were a surprise. I am still somewhat struggling with what this alphabet soup means for us. Will they be completely dependent forever? I want to tell people hey my kid has ___ when they do things associated with their disabilities. but I always hold back. I struggle with myob(mind your own business) and educating people. I don't want to be a poster family, I really just want to live our life but people tend to be nosy and judgemental. I need to work on stepping back and saying who cares what any of them think. It isn't as if their opinion of me matters. Well anyways that's where we are. <br />
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Ben needs a surgery on his hand for his amc. Sophie is needing a different surgery on her arm. but I cant get them to call me back to schedule it. Getting a little angry about that. Been calling for two weeks. I get no callback. I wanted to do it early in June but the way things are going who knows when we will get a call back and actually schedule. I have two different surgeons and two different kids. I arranged for my mother in law to come with us and want to try and do both kids in one week. I was looking forward to a summer at home on the farm NOT IN PHILLY. might get that yet in the form of no surgery since they wont return our calls. very annoying. <br />
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Sophie and Jaeger have been sick this week. Sophie is finally better and off to school today. Jaeger was still sick this morning. I took her to therapy yesterday as she wanted to go but she was grumpy and uncooperative. We tried out her new ride. its way too small. have to order a bigger one. Looks very comfy though for her. It is hot pink and she loves it. it was just too tight of a squeeze and the foot extentsion was at maximum already. it would never last the 5 years a mobility device is supposed to last before insurance will pay for another. It wouldn't last a month. She had no room to move because it was so tight side to side. no room to grow at feet. head already at top of stroller. It is a convaid rodeo tilt. niiiiice ride. she aid its comfy. she looked comfy. it folds flat like a stroller. it isn't really heavier than her wheelchair. it has adjustable handlebar for pushing. This will be great so kids can push and eric and I can both be comfortable pushing. basket for jacket, canopy so she wont burn. She is so fair she burns in the shade. So now the wait is on for the new one. meanwhile we are making do with her wheelchair that is way too small. <br />
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its snowing again. I cant stand more snow! ugh! better go check on the chickens. or chicken as the case may be. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-8909700156536931192014-04-10T08:22:00.001-07:002014-04-10T08:22:27.554-07:00updatesBeen a while since I posted here. Life is going at breakneck speed.as usual. Cody is going to community college. Chrysta went back to her dads. Sophie is WALKING like crazy. Ben is still sweet adorable Ben. Andre is getting easier. Jaeger has hit puberty(oh what fun!) Natasha is growing like crazy, turning into a beautiful young lady. Ethan finished occupational therapy. Maia is doing better, but still not herself. Diana is a sassy funny thing. <br />
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Still working on the FAS clinic. Feedback appointment is today for one. Sophie Andre and Ethan have been going to occupational therapy and speech for the last several months. Ethan is finished now. Andre and sophie still go. Ethan is not at all happy about it. Everyone else wants a turn to go to therapy. Its funny ow they still have this mentality of whats fair. Maia and Jaeger are to start counseling. and Diana wants to know why she cant go too? My kids are so weird. they LOVE doctor appointments. even if there are shots. they scream bloody murder with shots but they love appointments. <br />
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My sweet friend keeps sending my post cards and letters. I love getting them! They made a long cold winter a little brighter. It has been a biter cold and deep snow winter. Spring is finally here. Sunny and bright. melting like crazy. warming up. Kids are so happy to not have to wear snowpants every day. Boots are soaking wet all the time as they tramp through puddles and melting snowbanks. <br />
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We are growing lettuce via aquaponics. it is fun to have fresh lettuce for dinner! We hope someday it will work its way into a home business for our special boys. For now it provides yummy fresh lettuce for the family. <br />
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Early in the winter our greenhouse collapsed under the weight of heavy wet snow. I had to evacuate my chickens and give them away. I had nowhere else to keep them. Thankfully a local family outdoors business took them. I miss my big red rooster. as scary as he was as mean as he was I loved hearing him crow every morning. way better than any alarm clock. will start over with new chicks this year. Hoping to clear some land for some livestock. A cow maybe, some goats is what I really want, some sheep. First we have to wait for the FEET of snow to go down. right now we just sink in it. <br />
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Maybe I will find some time to post here more often. I stopped because I felt like all I could eek out was negative stuff. complaints. Summer sun always perks me up. Maybe I will have a little more positive to say.MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-83328618416773819632013-11-25T08:16:00.002-08:002013-11-25T08:16:57.144-08:00My MaiaShe has been attached to my hip since she was born. she is now 9. Still attached to my hip. Still loves her special blankie which is in shreds in a pillow case because its been loved to pieces. Still carries pillow case full of blankie bits all over the house. I don't like when the kids are sick. I worry of course. But when Maia is sick, she is clingier than ever. She needs constant contact and cuddles. She will follow me everywhere. She will lay on the floor at my feet while I cook or do dishes. She would probably sit in my lap while I use the toilet if I let her. If I go upstairs to use my bathroom or get dressed she follows and lays on the bed waiting. She loves her mama. She is attached to her mama. She is my love. I adore her. She gets her feelings hurt easily. She is my mini me. she is so smart but struggles to pay attention. She takes a scolding personally. She is sensitive. She is so much like me I cant even believe it. but about the snuggling. Maia was sent home from school sick Friday. Saturday she was my shadow when she wasn't in my lap. Sunday she perked up a little, but still very sleepy and weepy and clingy. (it just occurred to me that she could have mono) This morning I Had to PRY her hands off of me to get her to go to school. School mornings usually include Maia Bopping around being loud and silly and me reminding her to get her lunch made, get breakfast, get shoes on, GET MOVING! Today she was done in 10 minutes and spent the rest of the time clinging and following me around. I love her snuggles her constant need for physical touch. but this is over the top even for her. It worries me. Is she depressed? Is she more sick than I thought? To be honest I expect the school to be calling me to come get her. Im just not sure what to think about this over the top need for me. I know growing up is tough. and growing up with sibs who have SN is tough. and growing up in a large family is tough. but where has my dreamy silly funny girl gone?MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-78951061875897704452013-11-17T10:45:00.000-08:002013-11-17T10:45:36.042-08:00The adoption optionMany of my kids are adopted. They came to us at various ages from 2-8. They did not come without issues. They did not come without pasts. They did not come to us as a clean slate, a tabula rasa. Occasionally in the news there is a story about a child whose issues were too great for his adoptive family and they are forced to walk away, for their safety or that of the child. Consider the differences in the scenarios below.<br />
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Before birth we do whatever we can to protect our child's health. We stop drinking and smoking in pregnancy. We dream of the child to be, we make plans for them, we bond with them, we LOVE them. We visit the doctor regularly to be sure our pregnancy goes off without a hitch. When you give birth to the child you intend to raise, you love that child and give them the best of everything you are able. You know their every experience. You know their genetics and the likelihood of the personality being compatible with yours. You take them for well child checks and jump on it if they have delays. They will get help meeting milestones so they can meet them as soon as possible. Your child knows your voice and your smell. They suckle at your breast, you nurture them, and love them. You care for their every need. Its exhausting, but everyone knows its what is best for baby. you raise them in love and anticipate their every mood.<br />
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Now imagine a scenario where a pregnant woman is fighting many demons in her life. She struggles to maintain a job, drinks alcohol and /or does drugs. She doesn't take care of herself, often forgetting to eat. She finds out she is pregnant and knows she can not raise a child, she can barely take care of herself. She smokes while she ponders what to do. She never bonds with this child within her. She doesn't tell anyone she's pregnant. She tries to figure out what to do. She drinks heavily to forget. Maybe she WILL forget. but the fetus keeps growing. Soon her clothes don't fit properly. She is reminded again that there is something, someone growing inside of her. She drinks more to quell her fears, to calm her mind, to forget. She smokes because it calms her nerves and she is very nervous wondering what in the world she will do with a baby. lather rinse repeat. <br />
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Eventually the child is born. He may or may not be born substance addicted. He may appear perfectly healthy at first glance. But brain damage can't be seen with the naked eye. The life giver walks away from this small person, knowing she can never make a life for him, and places him for adoption. A family adopts the child not knowing what his future will be. not knowing if he will be a rocket scientist or struggle to pass science class. They commit in a way the life giver could not. They are in it for the long haul. Come what may, they say, he is ours. we will love him, they say, no matter what the future holds. <br />
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The child now has been abandoned by the woman who gave him life. The person caring for him doesn't smell like the woman who carried him 9 months. The voice is not the same. There was no special bonding before birth. If a fetus can feel pain, a fetus can absolutely feel love, or lack thereof. The child grows and begins acting out at an early age. His abandonment is not something he can name but it affects him deeply. His adoptive parents continue to love and guide him, they seek help for him. They talk to doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists. They throw around words like autism, primal wounds, reactive attachment disorder, explosive disorder, adhd, fetal alcohol syndrome. In short: this child is damaged. The life that could have been at conception is no longer an option. The adoptive parents try many different things to get help for the child. He continues to defy them and all medical interventions. He is not attached to them. He doesn't care for them. They are just one more person who will walk away from him. If he never lets them close he wont feel the loss when they quit on him. <br />
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His behaviors escalate as he grows. He becomes violent. He attempts suicide. Still the parents try everything they can think of; they see every doctor or specialist who will listen. They beg for help for their child. While he is not attached to them, THEY are attached to him. They love him. They long for a life of peace. They consult the agency who placed the child with them. Little can be done. They talk with social workers, and medical people. They send him to residential treatment centers, at great cost, emotionally and financially. When the child is released he burns down the house, the same house they mortgaged to get him help. They miss so many days of work their jobs are in jeopardy. They are spent. there is nothing left. They have no money. Their lives are in danger. The child they loved and longed for will never be normal. They are at the end of their rope. This child will never care for them. That much is clear.<br />
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They consult with social services to place him in foster care. They are denied. Or they are told they will be required to pay child support to the social services center, and continue to pay for his medical needs. How can they pay that when they are destitute from trying to care for this child already? This child who appeared so perfect at birth. This child whom they love more than anything, but clearly can not help. What do they do now? They can't keep him, he will kill them. They can't release him to foster care, they cant afford it. They run away in the night. They abandon the already once abandoned child. They leave everything behind. It's the only way. They can see no other way out of this mess. <br />
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After all of this, the people of this great nation say "how can you just walk away?" "how can you give up on a child?" "They are awful people to leave this child in need, after they promised to care for him no matter what." In truth they have done all they could do, they asked for help again and again, it was denied, or didn't help. They tried to leave the child in the care of safety but were denied that as well. They did not readopt him to another family, not wanting to put someone else in danger. They walked away. They left him an orphan, to be a ward of the state, in hopes that he would finally be seen as he is and get the help he so needs. Walking away was a final desperate attempt to help this child that they loved. They did it out of love. Not spite or malice, not even after everything the child has put them through. They did it out of love for this child.<br />
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We like to think that our society is so advanced; we have come so far from the days of our grandparents. Help is at our fingertips. We need only ask. No one need suffer anything anymore. Help is readily available for all things. My grandmother had to give up her son to the state, make him a ward of the court, in order to help him with his mental illness. Today many families are forced to do the same, by walking away as in the story above or relinquishing custody to the state. Sometimes the decision comes down to time. Is there time for court hearings and lawyers and debate? or does this kid need help ASAP? Many times parents are so defeated and their children so disturbed that by the time they are looking at custody hearings they can wait no longer. They walk away. Its the only option. They leave the child they love BECAUSE he is the child they love. The system is flawed. Parents are the last people to be believed when a child presents with mental illness. The parents must be the problem. They need more parenting techniques. It can't be that the child is damaged. Until the system changes, there will continue to be parents who are forced to leave their kids behind. Unless you have lived in their shoes, try not to judge their actions. You have no idea what they have been through. You have no idea the strength it takes to make the ultimate act of love and walk away.<br />
<br />MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-65714513787863071372013-11-04T13:45:00.000-08:002013-11-04T13:45:05.341-08:00But it's not fair!!!We must hear this a hundred times a day. Its not fair that one child got a good grade and I didn't. Its not fair that so and so got to go to a friends house and I didn't. Its not fair that he got to sit in THAT chair and I don't. He ALWAYS sits there! <br />
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When our kids came home from orphanages they had this idea of fair where everything is exactly the same for each kid. If one child ate because they missed dinner because they were elsewhere, then everyone needed to eat, or it wasn't fair. Reasoning that they already ate and this child didn't, and if they ate again they would eat twice and the other only once would not be fair either was useless. It was only fair if everything, for everyone, every time was exactly the same. <br />
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Over time as their English improved and their opportunities improved they started to expand their not fair reasoning to include another child SEEMING to have more than they did in any capacity. If a bag of hand me down clothes came and two things fit one child and 3 things fit another, that is not fair. I cant even begin to tell how many times I have heard ITS NOT FAIR! <br />
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I tried reasoning and explaining. I tried keeping everything exactly fair, which is impossible. Neither approach worked. EVERYTHING was still unfair, at least as far as they could see. I started taking them out with me one or two at a time to get a gallon of milk, or walk to the mail, or visit the neighbor. It wasn't fair. but I did it anyways. Some outings included a little treat, some didn't. If there was a treat it had to be a secret or else it wouldn't be FAIR and then I wouldn't be able to take them with me and give them treats anymore. Im sure each kid thinks they are the only ones who has treats with mom because they don't talk about it. <br />
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I also stopped trying to be fair. I just cant be fair. in most cases its MOSTLY fair but I will not count out rice granules to be exactly fair. They still say it sometimes, its NOT FAIR! and I always say life isn't fair. Sometimes I hear them complain to a sibling about something not fair, and the other child will tell them life is not fair. <br />
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Life is NOT fair. why does one child survive an orphanage relatively unscathed and another nearly unable to function? Why do people we love die? Why do bad things happen to good people? its not fair. none of it is. but we do our best to get through the unfairs and enjoy the good times. That's what I am trying to teach my kids. Life is not fair, but we can and should enjoy it anyways.<br />
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MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-73319399526476620542013-11-02T15:45:00.001-07:002013-11-02T15:45:55.541-07:00These are a few of my favorite things!There are some things that some of our kids really dislike. but we do have a lot of favorites. One of our heirloom family recipes is Squash Souffle' born of an excess of squash and lack of ideas how to cook it. Most holidays we have it and many times in between. <br />
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We love going to museums. I think our favorite is the Minnesota Institute of Art, and the Minnesota History Center coming in second. the kids as well as Eric and I try to get there at least a couple times a year. The period rooms decorated for the seasons is always beautiful. When we tell the kids we are going there they get all excited. <br />
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Our favorite board game is Chinese checkers. We have a variety of games, yahtzee, chutes and ladders, scrabble. but they always go back to Chinese checkers. <br />
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Personally my favorite season is summer. I THINK the kids would choose summer as their favorite too. They love the beach, they love the green grass and playing outside and going barefoot. When it turns to cold weather I have to hound them to put clothes on. so I am guessing they would choose summer as their favorite also. <br />
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Cheaper by the dozen is our favorite movie as a family. Everyone has their own favorites individually but as a family we love watching Cheaper By the Dozen. The funny thing about that movie is that everyone MOSTLY gets along and have alliances. But our kids fight all the time. Of course they are a tv family and we are a real life family. <br />
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We love cats and dogs and our chickens. The kids and I would love to have goats and sheep and a cow someday. I don't think we have a favorite animal. We love all our animals.<br />
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MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-68692906201348907122013-10-31T12:53:00.000-07:002013-10-31T12:53:11.439-07:00FAQ or the things big families hear all the timeWow! you have HOW many? We have 10. Yes we know its unusual, but not THAT unusual.<br />
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Do you homeschool them all? No, they all go to public school locally. We aren't against homeschool it just doesn't work for us.<br />
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Are they all yours? Yes they are all mine. Some were born to me, some were born to another mother but they are all mine.<br />
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Where are their real parents? we ARE their real parents, we are the ones wiping the snot cleaning up the vomit driving to a million appointments. yes We are their real parents.<br />
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Are they brothers and sisters? See above. <br />
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I don't know how you do it! Do what? get them out the door in the morning? cook them dinner? love them? You raise ten kids the same way you raise 2. You get out of bed in the morning and put one foot in front of the other. You love them, you help them, you take interest in them and what they are doing.<br />
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How much did they cost? They were free. We did however have to pay for various documents and preparations as well as travel to bring them home. but they are worth a million bucks.<br />
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Why do you have so many? Look at them. seeing their faces, knowing their names, knowing what their future would have been without us, we really could not walk away and ignore their existence. Boy are we glad we didn't!<br />
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I couldn't do what you do! sure you could. the learning curve isn't that steep.<br />
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Are you going to have more? I don't know. Some days I think maybe. Some days I think NO WAY! but mostly it isn't anyone's business but ours if we choose to add to our family. <br />
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What's wrong with your little girl in the wheelchair? Nothing is WRONG but she has arthrogryposis, That means she was born with joint contractures. Similar to cp except it happens long before birth instead of AT birth. <br />
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Will she ever walk? She will do whatever she wants to do. She has the drive and determination to climb any mountain she wants. <br />
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Some people get upset when others ask questions. I don't. its natural to be curious. People don't usually stop us on the street to ask but when we interact with them they will find a way to ask. I like to tell people we have multiple multiples(we have many kids the same ages) and they assume we had twins or triplets along the way. It's even more fun when they ask when they were born and you tell them different months.MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-37990762729015436562013-10-30T08:46:00.004-07:002013-10-30T08:46:49.428-07:00There's no crying in baseball!!!I always loved the movie A League of Their Own, with Tom Hanks. I can hear him saying There's no crying in baseball! As I go about my daily business dealing with kids who throw things at me, scream at me, lose their temper and start shrieking because someone looked at them wrong I usually stand strong. There's no crying in baseball! Sometimes though, it gets too much. one nasty attitude too many in a day and the tears come unbidden. <br />
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I watch tv sometimes when the kids are at school. I see people cry over all manner of things. A room makeover so lovely it moves them to tears, again and again. A gift so great they cry tears of happiness. They lose a treasured item and they cry. They have debt, they cry. Their children get a poor grade, they cry. They cry over everything on tv. They cry when their neighbors don't like them, when their dog eats chases the cat, when they are caught at a red light AGAIN. <br />
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I find myself thinking they have NO idea what life is really like in many families. I yell at the people on tv to stop crying. They know nothing! They don't fight their kids school for services enough to ensure their kid will merely PASS THEIR GRADE! They don't fight for accessibility every where they go. They don't have to plan their life around wheelchair accessible facilities. They don't have kids who scream at them, who throw things, who talk about taking an ax and cutting down all the trees because they are mad at you. They don't deal with kids who come from trauma. They don't have dozens of appointments each week for therapies. They have friends and babysitters. <br />
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There's no crying in baseball. there is crying in parenting kids with issues. So many people just can not and do not understand what that life is like. How could they? They do not deal with the scream of a child who is in meltdown because the phone is ringing and it isn't ever for them. They do not have to duck when something comes flying in anger. They sit down to happy meals where no one leaves the table in a huff. They do what they want when they want, their lives do not revolve around making and attending necessary therapies. THEY are not US. I am happy that so many people live happy charming lives. I wish my life could be that way. But it isn't. I only wish the people living a charmed life, even an ordinary life, would try to understand how lucky they are and realize so many of us live the other side of the coin. Most of us wouldn't choose this chaotic lifestyle, but its what we have. We deal, sometimes we cry, and then we get up and face it all again. and those tv families? Imagine how boring our lives would be if we lived that perfect charming life! <br />
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MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3221950906880399257.post-17300403683752998622013-10-28T13:31:00.002-07:002013-10-28T13:31:55.477-07:00Hockey Mom/ Dance momI recently saw some stickers on the back of a vehicle. They said Dance Mom and Hockey Mom. Many of my kids have special needs. They have physical disabilities, they have developmental disabilities, they have health problems. They won't ever play hockey or go to dance class.<br />
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But they work hard to progress and we are proud of all they do. We are proud of the spelling tests where a single word is correct, that's an improvement from none. We are proud of taking your first steps at age 7, perhaps more so than if they were 1-2 years old. We are proud when we attend an event that ends having no meltdowns as these are rare. We are proud when a meal is finished and no one spilled their milk. We are proud when a night becomes morning without a wet bed. We are proud when school is attended with a smile. We are proud when we arrive on time to any given appointment as it means everyone was able to be independent in getting ready. We are proud when our ten year olds are able to self soothe when waking at night rather than waking the whole house. We are proud when a short tempered child walks way from an instigating sibling without socking them. We are proud of our kids too. Even though they don't have car stickers for people like us, we are proud parents nonetheless. MoonDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.com3