A Dozen Good Eggs

Friday, February 5, 2010

integration

as I listen to my children play laugh and sing together it occurs to me that Sophie and Ben have fully integrated into our family. and that the kids (at least 3 out of 4 of them) have completely accepted them and treat them just as they would any other sibling. Maia and Sophie and Ben spend the most time together and it is incredible to see Maia play, laugh, be silly, haul sophie around, put Ben on her back, and even do things she knows will annoy them. The same things she does to any of the others or daddy or myself. She is just Maia with them. They are just Sophie and Ben to her. Not Sophie who cant walk, just Sophie. Not Ben whose hands are weak and falls down a lot, Just Ben her brother. To see her holding hands with Sophie while Sophie scoots along at an incredibly slow pace compared to Maia's normal run so that they can dance to the music together in the living room is so precious, so amazing. She doesnt think of them in terms of can and cant. And most of the time they Can.
but she just doesnt see that they cant do certain things. She has been most accepting of her baby sister and big brother(who is much smaller than she and much more delayed). I like to think this will serve her well.

COdy and Chrysta adore the kids so much. Cody is willing to do help out with them. and he always gives them kisses before going to school. Chrysta helps our with them and loves to sneak one of them away to her room to play with them. and since the basement is currently off limits they relish in this sneaky deliciousness(Chrystas room is in the basement) Last night Sophie sat on the bed while Chrysta hung her clothes and played silliness with her. Sophie had such a great time she was downright TICKED OFF when Chrysta brought her back up! She took Ben for awhile too while Sophie played up here with Ethan.

Ethan has had a harder adjustment to their arrival. He was very excited for them to come home but they werent exactly what he was hoping for. Ben is very immature(which should be perfect because so is Ethan!) Ethan, unlike Maia, sees all of his inequities and takes them as a personal assault. It doesnt help much that they share a room and Ben wakes up EVERY DANG NIGHT crying! Last night was FOUR TIMES! and at first Ethan tried to be understanding and find out what was wrong but now he just gets mad that his sleep is interrupted. Ethan has ADHD so sleep is already limited and lousy and he gets pretty contankerous when its interuppted! Ethan has his own issues. We just keep trying to work with him on having compassion.

I just find the whole thing amazing. here we are not even 6 months home and life with these two little angels is incredible. Sophie sleeps in our room and every night we marvel at her before going to bed. We love to grab Ben up and snuggle him.
and watching them grow and learn is so amazing. Sophie the little manipulater is starting to catch on. if I claim belly ache because I dont want to do something then I lose some other pleasant thing. but let me tell you those two are front and center when its time to clean up. they LOVE to help.

It really is just like labor. The pain of the wait and the early days when I felt like nothing more than a tool to them are gone. Replaced by days of hugs and kisses and love shining in their eyes and mine. Days of them coming to me to kiss their booboos or just for a quick snuggle. Days of them laughing and playing rather than shunning their siblings. Life is good.

3 comments:

  1. Yes life is good. SO glad to hear their adjustment is going better.

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  2. What a great testimony to patient and loving parents - you both should be congratulated!

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  3. What an encouragement! Especially for those who worry about having homegrown and adopted kids getting along! Praying for the night crying and peace in the boys room however. I too get cranky when my sleep is constantly interrupted!

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