Christmas day 2010

Christmas Day

We made it through gifts with a minimum of complaint. Everyone seemed happy and contented with their gifts even though it was less than in previous years for some, and a first for others. But peaceful enough for me to hope that all will be ok with them. Currently the kids are all paired off playing with each other most peacefully, except Sophie who seems to want constant validation for every move she makes. Jaeger and Andre and Ben are playing, Diana and Natasha are downstairs dressed in new clothes. An unlikely duo is Maia and Ethan playing Polly Pockets together. I think sometimes Maia really loves having sisters but misses playing with Ethan. She has never known a time without him they came home so close together. Maia was a mere 8 weeks old when we went to Russia for Ethan. For many years they were best best friends until Sophie and Ben came and Ethan went off to school without her. So I am happy to see the two of them playing alone together. Jaeger just told me that Ben was bleeding and we found Ben in a puddle of blood and dripping out his mouth but not crying and not sure where the wound was. I guess he bit his cheek but I gave him some water and all was better.

As I thanked Jaeger for letting me know about Ben his smile, the real boy, melted my heart. He does that now and again. He has made such great strides since coming home. He was defiant and downright naughty. He stole from us. He hoarded things in his bed and refused to share. We were firm but continued to love him. And of late it seems the conflict with Jaeger is much less. Yes he still pouts now and again but he IS nine. It just isn’t constant whining and pouting over everything. In fact the only time he showed any disappointment this morning was when he realized that there weren’t any batteries for his new toy. Even than was a short lived frown. If I had realized they didn’t have batteries I would have bought them for them. The other night he gave me all his photos of his birth family. Just said here Mama for you. These previously were held in high esteem and no one had better touch them . It seems as though he thought he was waiting for his birth family to come and get him and realises now that we are his family and that the other brothers were not coming for him. I put the photos away as someday he may want to have them. But for now he wants to let that go and work on being an Enberg. I am very happy with his progress lately. He never misses a chance for a hug and never lets me out of the room at night without giving and getting a kiss goodnight. The fistfights are lessening as well. He is really becoming the beautiful boy we knew he could be. He is helpful and likes to help of his own accord(not so much when asked lol) he is sweet with Sophie and helps her eat. All the kids like to help her eat. I want her to feed herself as she IS capable but its so hard to discourage their helpfulness and kindness to her.

I always read other people’s blogs and hear how sweet and loving their kids are. And I see the Duggars with all those kids being kind to one another(probably killing each other off camera. I always think why are MY kids not like that. Why are my kids not loving and kind to one another? Why are they always fighting? I am beginning to see that while other people’s children are sweetness and light they can not ALWAYS be sweetness and light, sometimes they must cry or whine or whack a sib. I am also beginning to see that while mine often whack a sib, often cry, whine and carry on, they DO sometimes act kind and sweet. They DO sometimes do things like show concern for a bleeding sibling, feed Sophie or help her with something she can’t do, play nice together, enjoy life. I begin to notice that they always want to be near Mama. They bring me drawings and give me little gifts of things that were intended for them. And they are insistent that I take them that they truly want me to have their treasured item. So yes my kids are a little rough around the edges, but they are very kind and loving and sweet too. I bet those other blogs just tell the good parts and leave out the barroom brawl that happened because someone took the wrong colored cup at dinner. I am more of a realist. This is what happened, so this is what I write. Good or bad. And my kids are good…..and bad. And I sure do love them.