Thursday, April 14, 2011
all of the children on this site as well as many others were distant faces. they meant little to me. while I was sad that no one wanted them, I had no idea what some endure. fast forward a few years and several adoptions later. I KNOW now. I wish I didnt but I do. I KNOW that these kids are facing life in prison essentially. and ultimately death. and it kills me. we adopted 7 kids. we had 3 biologically. we are NOT getting younger or richer. and my heart breaks looking at their little faces. wishing I could be the Mama that smooches their little cheeks. or big cheeks in the case of older kids. I donate to adopting families wherever I can. I pass the word about RR and 147 million orphans. and yet I feel like I have done nothing. barely a drop in the bucket. would I go back again if my husband would get on board? IN A HEARTBEAT! knowing that a certain child that I love(yes I love her)will soon be deprived of the medications that keep her alive and she will likely die of AIDS or an aids related death is just too much to bear. she is nearly 7 years old. 7 year olds should not die of AIDS or die of anything! they should jump on the trampoline and play in the grass and feel the sun on their faces and put their toes in the sand. They should crawl into their Mama's arms for a hug when they feel sad. They should not die! Dieing is for old people! people who have lived their lives fully and are ready to make that journey. What hurts the most is that they never had anyone love them as if they were THE most important person in the world. that no matter what they do they will always hold this persons love. I am rambling and saying nothing it seems. I just get so frustrated because PEOPLE DONT GET IT! they just dont get it! an orphanage is no place for children. I guess its good that I hurt it means I dont forget. I wear the bracelet of a child who died of AIDS so that he can always be remembered by someone. but how can I do more? how can I get OTHERS to see? how can I make sure THEY dont forget and get people to DO something to help? helpless is what I feel the most.
at 1:23 PM