Wednesday, July 11, 2012
our brown eyed beauty girl Tara got hit by a car a few days ago. it was terrible. it was traumatic. she broke her back. it might have been easier on all involved if she had been killed instantly. we had to put her down. We buried her out by the garden she loved so much to run through. I cry every time I go anywhere because I cant stand to see the road. I cry every time I come back from anywhere because I still have to go across that piece of road and I am reminded she wont be here waiting for me. I cry a lot. I held her on the side of the road with my foot going numb under me, lest I should move it and upset her. I got blood on my clothes. I looked into her beautiful beseaching brown eyes and cried for her. Eric went home to get the truck and I stayed with her. he stayed in the back of the truck with her and I drove us home. so the driveway hurts me too. Mocha misses her buddy. The kids miss their buddy. I miss my funny girl. Eric misses his hunting buddy that never did hunt. the same day she died we were laughing at her climbing all four legs into a giant watering container Eric keeps in the greenhouse. the kids have never encountered death before. they have a lot of questions and comments. It is hard for me to deal with them when I am still so upset by it myself. Ben wants to know if she is going to rot. he also says well Tara is dead. Andre worries unnecessarily about Mocha getting hurt. Diana wants to know where it happened. Natasha immediately asked if we could have another dog, but later cried. Maia says she misses Tara. Jaeger and I sobbed together while Eric buried Tara. Sophie tells everyone we meet that our dog died. Ethan was fairly stoic but did get a little tearful/misty eyed. Cody was mad at us for putting her down. Chrysta wanted to stay home from the band camp she has been looking forward to for MONTHS. We made her go to camp. she is doing fine. staying home wouldn't change anything. Tara would still be gone. the kids would love to get a new dog but as much as I love animals I have to say no. I am still so heartbroken about Tara being gone. I dont feel that a new dog is a good idea. Tara cant be replaced. they need to learn that. Important loved ones can not be replaced. So we moved here a three dog family, and we are now a one dog family.
at 2:46 PM