A Dozen Good Eggs

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A hard day. again.

Today we went to the pyschologist who tested one of our kids. He saw Anxiety, depression, but not as much depression as anxiety, and adhd(which we already knew)scored high in aggression also. His diagnosis is anxiety disorder and adhd and possibly a learning disability, but will have to have school look at that. We already knew he had anxiety and depression and adhd. I dont feel like I learned anything new. That is why I went there, to learn something new to get the tools to parent this boy. I tried to stay sanguin about it but I ended up speaking my mind. probably a good thing, but I dont really feel that much better. I dont feel like this answers the questions I went there with. So do some one on one couseling, and family counseling with Eric and I the boy. I feel like I am spinning my wheels in getting help for him. and for us. I should probably go in with high hopes but I dont have them. This weekend he had a sleepover, his first really. he came home and kicked a hole in the sheetrock because his brothers and sisters were asking him questions about his sleepover. He just BLOWS UP! Im not understanding. I said that I am out of tools and I just plain dont know what to do with him anymore. If I agree he blows up, if I disagree he blows up. if I correct him gently he blows up, if I yell at him he blows up. if I try to explain why something is wrong he blows up. No mention of anything attachment related. No autism, despite hand flapping. It just isnt making sense to me. It is like one more punch in the stomach saying, yeah you are the problem, he is fine. I've heard it for years. I heard with my oldest son who now can barely leave his bedroom because of his anxiety. When you have seen your manchild in such a state he can barely get off the bed and been told since he was 6 years old there was nothing wrong, you start to question the system. I am trying to keep afloat and keep him from going under and I have no tools to do it. No more than I had this morning before I went to that appointment.


  1. Is he adopted? I don't know that much about your family yet. Have you had him evaluated for reactive attachment disorder?

  2. yes he is adopted and no I dont believe he was assesed for RAD. one of the things I plan to talk to therapist about. he hand flaps, he rocks, but not as much as he used to, he repeatedly tosses things in the air to watch them fall and flap his hands. yet autism wasnt on his diagnosis list either. I am feeling lost.

  3. I have been doing a lot of research into neurofeedback. There seems to be quite a bit of success with anxiety, ADHD and aggression. We are trying it with our FAS cuties, but it is still too early to tell how it will work. Our insurance is thinking about covering it, but you have to be prepared to pay in full out of pocket. Plus, you have to work hard to get a competent therapist. There are a lot who aren't really qualified. But, it shows a lot of promise in the areas you are struggling with.