This blog is about our adventures as a large family. We have fourteen kids in our family. Not every one lives at home. Sometimes life is easy and sometimes its weary to the bone hard.
Monday, January 23, 2012
struggling
with why did all this happen? how am I supposed to get through this? I am home now. doing my infuzion. saying to myself every day will get better and before you know it standing long enough to make a bowl of cream of wheat will no longer even register as a question. it will just happen and afterwards I will say WOW! Poor Eric is picking up slack all over the place. my parents are doing what they can. taking care of Sophie isnt easy for them. but they do it because I cant. Im grateful. Im sad that I cant but I cant. Im at a loss as to where to go for help. There is nowhere to go. Ins wont pay for an aide. we could probably qualify for tefra and get one that way but by the time I got through the hurdles Im not sure it would be worth the effort. or SSI and MA by way of. but again by the time I jump every hurdle it will be so long it wont have been worth it. I think I am going to have to cancel sophie's pt/ot eval that has been on the books for months. impossible to get into. I cant pick her up. blah. just get all this over with. im sick of it already, as I imagine is my husband, my hero, who plays mommy and daddy for weeks on end.
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Im so sorry. To an extent I know how you feel. After birthing my youngest I ended up deathly ill... literally. I was in the hospital for a week then it took nearly 2yrs to recover. For the first 5mos I was literally running to the bathroom to puke or poop, it was horrible! It got to a point I would literally have to run with my baby in a bouncy chair to the bathroom and just plop her on the floor mats, sometimes still not making it in time :(
ReplyDeleteI truly cant imagine how you feel.. I only had 2 kids and at times was so overwhelmed that I got depressed. Could you possibly hire someone like a nanny to help with the basics for you?
You are in my prayers!
I am hanging in. its all I can do. Just keep saying to myself, it will get better. it will get better.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you've got some help, but sounds like you need more. I don't know what illness you are dealing with, but can the hospital social worker point you toward some resources?
ReplyDeleteins wont pay for hha for her. I could probably qualify her for TEFRA but by the time I jump all the hoops I would be better. same with ssi.once the drain comes out then I can lift again. but for now I cant lift more than 10 lbs. she is almost 30! we are gettin by.
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